A Place Beyond
Reflecting on the fine line between truth and reality in the aftermath of loss
i had a dream about grandma last night
she was on her deathbed, only i were lying next to her
she was in a cylindrical body brace
through the metal rods
i held her tightly and promised to stay forever
i said, gently and steadfast
i am your eyes because you cannot see
i am your voice because you cannot speak
i am your hands because you cannot move
Get Lindy Q’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
i told her i had not showered so she might recognize me by smell
i told her i am wearing the white turtleneck sweater she knitted for me as a child
i took her hand and ran it through the chunky pattern
i explained it row by row and asked if she remembers her needlework
i know she would
the heartbreak in my dream transcended into reality
i suddenly woke up soft sobbing
my pillowcase was wet
my husband woke up, confused
i said it was morning allergies
i hadn’t felt a grief cathartic like this, perhaps ever
as much heartburn as it was, i felt alive
a truth i have held since youth was that
someday the person closest to you will perish from earth
i prepared so relentlessly and for so long
that in the waking hours i am strong, i am real
today i discovered my dreams still hold the truth of my heart
i take solace
it’s safe in the unconsciousness
i take solace
there is a place out there at the end of reality’s horizon
where we can still meet up
© Linde Chen 2025. All Rights Reserved.
