L.E.T
LEARNING TO OPEN UP
For the longest time, I was so used to keeping everything to myself. Whenever something was bothering me, whenever I felt sad, overwhelmed, or even confused about what I was feeling, I would always choose to stay quiet and deal with it on my own. I guess I got so used to being the person who listens to other people’s problems, gives advice, and tries to understand everyone that I slowly forgot that I, too, needed someone who would do the same for me. There were so many things I wanted to say, so many stories I wanted to share, and so many feelings I couldn’t even explain, but I always found myself holding back. Not because I didn’t want to be understood, but because a part of me was afraid of being misunderstood, judged, or feeling like I was becoming a burden to someone.
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Sometimes, I would tell myself that I could handle everything on my own, that I would eventually be okay, and that there was no need to let anyone know what I was going through. I became so comfortable with saying “I’m okay” even when I wasn’t entirely sure if I really was. But as time passed, I slowly realized that keeping everything inside wasn’t always a sign of strength. Sometimes, it only made things heavier because I was carrying emotions that I didn’t even know how to process on my own. And then, little by little, I met people who made me feel that I didn’t always have to hide behind the version of myself that everyone was used to seeing. I found my comfort friends, the people I could slowly open up to without feeling like I had to explain every little thing perfectly. With them, I started learning how to share the things that bothered me, talk about the things that made me overthink, and express the feelings I usually kept hidden.
It wasn’t an overnight change, and honestly, there were still moments when I wanted to keep everything to myself because opening up felt unfamiliar and uncomfortable. There were times when I didn’t know how to start a conversation about what I was feeling, and sometimes, I would still choose silence because that was what I had always known. But I began to understand that I didn’t have to tell my whole story all at once. I could start with little things, one honest conversation at a time, until eventually, sharing what I felt didn’t seem as frightening as it used to be. I realized that the right people wouldn’t always have the perfect words to say or the solutions to all my problems, but sometimes, simply having someone who listens, stays, and tries to understand is already enough.
And I think that’s what makes having comfort friends so special. They remind me that I am also allowed to have bad days, to feel lost, to be vulnerable, and to ask for comfort when I need it. I don’t always have to be the strong one, the understanding one, or the person who knows what to say. I can be the person who doesn’t have everything figured out, too. Looking back, I’m proud of myself for finally finding the courage to let people in, even if it took me a long time to get here.
I’m proud that I’m slowly unlearning the habit of carrying everything alone and learning to trust that there are people who genuinely want to know how I’m doing beyond the usual “I’m fine.” I’m still learning, and I know there will be days when opening up won’t come easily, but at least now, I’m trying. I’m learning that vulnerability doesn’t make me weak, and needing someone doesn’t make me less independent. Sometimes, it takes more courage to say “I’m not okay” than to pretend that everything is fine. And perhaps one of the most beautiful parts of this journey is realizing that while I’ve spent so much time being a safe place for other people, I can finally allow myself to find safety in others, too.
For the first time in a long time, I’m learning that I don’t have to go through everything alone, because it’s okay to let someone understand me, too. And for that, I’m genuinely grateful for the people who made me feel that opening up isn’t something I should be afraid of, but something I deserve to experience without feeling guilty for being human.
