Tom Osborne speaks at Elkhorn TeamMates breakfast
Members of the Elkhorn community were treated to an appearance by Dr. Tom Osborne on Sept. 10 at the TeamMates of Elkhorn Breakfast to learn more about what the TeamMates program can bring to the Elkhorn Public School district.
Before introducing the guest of honor, Dr. Bary Habrock, superintendent of Elkhorn Public Schools, gave a few opening remarks. Habrock started by saying that 20 years ago, a program called Partners in Education was created for the district. The program focused on the same values that TeamMates does, but it also added a little academic component as well, and Habrock said that at the time, the small school district benefited greatly under the Partners program. However, Habrock knew that with the rapid growth of the schools, something had to change.
“When Dr. Osborne approached me about the possibility of Elkhorn becoming a TeamMates school district, it really became about the TeamMates brand, and the fact that TeamMates could bring us more mentors for our students, because the truth is, that’s really important for our kids and community,” Habrock said. “What we know is that a meaningful adult relationship is important to the development of the children. I think the connection between the kids and caring adults is essential. At the end of the day, we want successful students who will someday become highly successful and functioning adults, but also safer schools; we see that adult connection pivotal to creating safer schools.”
After Habrock gave a short introduction towards Osborne and saying that his work with TeamMates makes him a humanitarian, Osborne took the podium to speak. Osborne started off the morning telling a joke about a man who wanted a job so bad, he decided to wear a gorilla suit and pretend to be one at the zoo. The point of the opening joke, Osborne said, was that things are not always as they seem, and that relates heavily to the young people of the world today.
“On the one hand, everybody in this country has some access to education. Everyone has some sort of access to healthcare, whether it be a school nurse or the emergency room; it may not be perfect, but usually we don’t just leave people to die in the streets. Most everyone, even below the poverty line, has some sort of wealth, like cell phones, a good pair of tennis shoes, etc. Poverty here isn’t what poverty is in most places,” Osborne said. “On the other hand, I have seen a lot of changes throughout my 36 years of coaching. Back in the 60s, I ran across a young recruit who wasn’t growing up under the same roof as their biological parents. That began to change, as more players came from dysfunctional families, and these players began to focus on personal baggage rather than the important issues. Today, there are roughly six million fatherless kids, over half are growing without both biological parents. The foundation has been much more unstable for a lot of kids.”
Osborne then continued about how life and culture has changed for children since the 1960s and 1970s, including kids who would not even make it through middle school, substance abuse and drug testing players and children, images on television, lyrics in songs and items seen on the internet. He also mentioned the rising concern of how young people communicate.
“Nowadays, kids are often quiet, because they’re looking at their phones, as most communication is now electronic,” Osborne said. “It’s not completely bad, there are positives to electronic communication. However, there’s no body language or emotional content, so it’s hard to use emotional intelligence to be able to understand what one is experiencing. Not many people sit down and have some type of face-to-face dialogue, particularly with an adult. The amount of actual face-to-face verbal interactions, and being able to listen empathetically and understand what they’re experiencing is being reduced to only a few minutes a week.”
After seeing various life and behavior changes throughout the years, Osborne had had enough and wanted to do something to help out. Thus, in 1991, the TeamMates program was born.
“I got in front of our football team and asked how many guys would be willing to serve as a mentor to seventh and eighth grade boys and 22 hands went up,” Osborne said. “Lincoln Public Schools gave us 22 boys and the players were paired up. They saw each other at least once a week, and I even let the players bring their mentee to practice if they wanted, and they also studied with them. There were no rules, no guidelines and things went well. After a couple years, we started to worry, because these kids turned 16 and could potentially drop out of school. I got a ton of parents and their kids into one room and told them that if they stayed out of trouble and graduated high school, we would pay their way into college. Problem was, we had no money available. After a couple years, we raised $50,000, and we were surprised to learn that 21 out of the 22 graduated on time. The one that didn’t did eventually graduate as well. Eighteen of those 22 went to college, and we only thought that only five or six would actually go. We decided to expand the program after that and allowed adults as mentors, as there wasn’t enough football players, and lowered the age to third grade boys and girls.”
Originally, the TeamMates program was only held in Lincoln; currently, the program was stretched across the state and has even made its way to five states, with 10,000 kids enrolled as mentees. Osborne hopes to hit the 12,000 mark in the next couple years.
Osborne continued with his speech, moving on to why the program has become a Midwestern success.
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“For the first five years, we tracked our matches with Gallup; for the last 12 years, we’ve been able to gather our own data. Year after year after year, the results have been almost completely identical. The first result was that 80 to 85 percent of our matches’ school attendance improved. If attendance improves, the grades will get better, the graduation rates will be better and the percentage of kids receiving post-secondary education also improves,” Osborne said. “According to national research, a young person with a mentor is 56 percent more likely to go to college, compared to one who has similar circumstances but did not have a mentor; that’s a pretty big deal. The second result was that 80 to 85 percent of our matches’ behavior improves; there’s less disruption in class and trips to the principal’s office, less substance abuse, teenage pregnancy and criminal activity. The third result was unexpected: kids who have a mentor are more hopeful and optimistic about the future. That mentor can you show the way through, because they may have had some of the same experiences in their past. Hope is huge: if there is no hope, you’ll fill your life with something else, and it’s usually the wrong stuff.”
One of the main goals that Osborne wants everyone to achieve by the time they leave the TeamMates program is to have some sort of marketable skill, whether it is a four-year university or a trade school.
“We need more plumbers, electricians and welders in our world; we just need people who have their own set of skills,” Osborne said. “During the students’ sophomore year, we begin to talk about post-secondary education, how you get there and how to jump through the hoops. I’m currently mentoring two kids that are seniors and we’re discussing how to fill out the FAFSA forms. The kids don’t understand it and their parents most likely have no clue how to get it done, and that’s why we have mentors. A lot of kids don’t go to college because they don’t have the basic mechanics.”
To conclude his talk of the morning, Osborne briefly mentioned the three important responsibilities a mentor does, the first being that the mentor loves the mentee.
“Love has more to do about commitment than it does emotion. The biggest thing we stress to mentors is consistency,” Osborne said. “Mentors should be showing up around 24 or 25 times throughout the 35-week school year. You can’t tell a child that you’re there for them and care about them, but then show up only three or four times. The greatest gift is the gift of time. Each of us can make more money, but none can make more time. If someone shows up and cares enough to invest their time week after week, it sends a message to that young person that this adult cares.”
The second responsibility Osborne mentioned is affirmation.
“As a coach, when I told a player that I believed in him and his future was going to be great, that player started to blossom,” Osborne said. “Every person has something that they can do better than others. One of my guys this year is an includer, because even though he was late to a meeting with me, he told me he was talking with a girl who thought about taking her own life, and that was typical of him to make sure someone felt included and not ostracized. Most successful people don’t worry about their weaknesses, they build on their strengths instead. Kids need to be aware of those strengths, so that they can start thinking about college majors and future jobs and careers.”
The third and final responsibility was that a mentor can provide a vision of what’s possible. Osborne then told a short story about his grandfather during the 1880s in western Nebraska. Although his grandfather’s future didn’t look too bright due to drinking problems and living in a less-than-average part of the state, a circuit rider (a clergyman who traveled on from church to church) saw great potential in Osborne’s grandfather after listening to a speech of his when he was in fifth grade. The circuit rider would continue to visit the grandfather every month and continued to mentor him through seventh grade, high school (which was 100 miles away) and even college (the grandfather traveled by train to Hastings). Osborne’s grandfather became a well-known preacher in western Nebraska and even served two terms in the state legislature.
“So, why did I tell you this story? People think that there are a lot of kids out there, so what difference does it make to only mentor one kid?,” Osborne said. “My grandpa had five kids and they all went to college during the Great Depression. The impact my grandpa had on his kids impacted me as a grandchild and I looked up to him and his actions. He had a powerful influence on myself and all the people in his churches. There’s a ripple effect; even though you’re changing one life for the better, it changes multiple lives along the way. The best way to transform a culture is one person at a time.”
Once Osborne had concluded his speech, Mike Chochon, the board president of TeamMates of Elkhorn, gave some quick information about the current TeamMates of Elkhorn program. Currently, there are about 60 mentors in the community. Chochon said that it makes a lot of sense to be able to get out into the community and get engaged and talking with the children, whether it is your own child or any child that is in need.
“Maybe they don’t need tutoring for school, but that doesn’t mean they don’t need someone to talk with to be successful,” Chochon said.
To finish off the breakfast speeches, one of the TeamMates mentors, Tiffany Meysenburg, spoke about her experience as a mentor.
“I love what I do and I’m proud to be a part of this. I adore the Elkhorn school system and I’m here to help elevate our mentoring program,” Meysenburg said. “We’ve all had mentors in all our phases of life, from being a child, to a college student and now to an adult. Right now, I mentor a girl named Ava. We’re on a level now to where she tells me about her friends, relationships and feelings, and I sit, listen and comment with the truth, because I’m her cheerleader. She has also talked about how she hasn’t been able to keep some friendships, so we talk about how she can improve that. I take 45 minutes of my week to simply show up and listen to her and cheer her on, so that she has less anxiety and has someone who understands her. TeamMates is empowering, uplifting and effective for kids here in Elkhorn. We’re surrounded by phenomenal students in this district, and I take pride in that, so please help me pay it forward and make a difference in our district by becoming a TeamMates mentor; it’s worth the time.”
