Hi.
I am a logophobe. I stumbled across this community via a former student of mine who contributes here regularly and have since written, or contributed something I have written in the past, every day. Now after a week of interacting with Medium, I want to take a moment to introduce myself. Up to this point, I have had ample opportunities to learn about the fascinating lives, existences, and ideas of so many Medium users via their “stories” and in introducing myself, I hope to convince other, equally shy people, to share their insights, thoughts, and personal beauty.
How do you know me?
At the risk of repeating myself, I will state, again, that I am a logophobe. Medium draws the red squiggles underneath the word logophobe, as it clearly is not an available noun per definition, but I have discovered via poetry posting here, that some of the most fantastically made-up words touches peoples’ hearts better than any listed in Websters. Invented words are somehow, at times, the most accurate depictions of one’s innermost thoughts and feelings, but I digress.
An emotional see-saw
I have a fear/love relationship with words, with a much greater emphasis on the fear. This angst stems from my inherent unwillingness to make myself vulnerable in front of or share my true feelings about others. Just ask my current and former students and athletes. I have and still to this day, hide behind a veil of impatience, demanding that my students and athletes speak honestly and openly, communicate truthfully and faithfully, all the while I rarely if ever express my own personal concerns about my own failings or inconsistencies. Words frighten me, because I fear that through their honesty, everything I have sought to build for myself could be uncreated.
A bridge of letters
That being said, ever since I could read and, more recently, after reading Novalis’ Poem Wenn nicht Zahlen und Figuren for the first time in 2002 during my literary graduate study, I have been in love with words. There is something exciting about forbidden words and the pictures they paint and simultaneously something comforting about the aforementioned made-up words and how they convey exactly what you were thinking, albeit they were created and uttered by someone you have never met.
A ship without sail
They are living things, and wild, these words we know. That makes them dangerous, but life without risk is a pencil next to a blank page, a book whose spine remains intact as it gathers dust on a shelf, a shoe whose tread remains perfectly unworn. I hope to never overcome my fear of words, as I fear even greater losing respect for their healing power.
Get Logophobic’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
I would very much like to hear your story and hope that sharing my insecurities helps you learn to do the same.
