N’ Snap (Part Two)
A week or so later…
We have a problem. I say “we” because ultimately, we all will suffer because of it. Problems are never kept to oneself. This rodent, vermin, critter is quite active at night. Though I’m unsure as to what it actually is, what it is that it is actually doing, or where it is that it is actually doing it, I know for certain that it is here. In this van. This thing. Somewhere. Doing something. And I’m pretty sure it’s not a productive, helpful, loving kind of thing.
How is it that we will all suffer, you may ask. It could be because of the effects of sleep disturbance. It could change one’s attitude or outlook thereby changing the course of one’s day and the interactions throughout it, responses to others, reactions to events, emotions, thoughts, cars on the road, cashiers in the store, children in the next room, boyfriends on the phone (not that I’ve had one in years), attention to one’s responsibilities and so on (don’t forget treatment of the dog). And depending on what role one plays in society, the ripple continues to multiply throughout the pond. Ruffling feathers, disturbing peace, and shifting directions. And that doesn’t even include the direct damage or missing chocolate kisses, tattered wicker bags, or frayed wires. Not to mention filth and disease. Each of these things will cause an effect. One may not quench that burning desire for sweets at a pivotal time of the month, one may have to resort to using a plastic bag instead of that reusable one, and… perhaps some other electronic thing won’t work properly in the van, perhaps this time it’ll be the second alternator. Oh wait. That already stopped working. Oh, maybe the solar panels. Nope, too late. Something else then, perhaps. All of these things will have additional impacts. None of them good. Leading to the suffering of many.
The world, indeed, does not act in a vacuum. Why is it that we think that we do? You may go around boasting about how independent you are with your bombastic rhetoric, but it doesn’t change the fact that you got where you’re at because of a whole slew of people, places, and things (not to mention God), and the things that you do will affect other people, places, and things (including God). So. When I have a problem, you have a problem. And vice versa. What that also means is that when I have a success, so do you. And vice versa. So, you got a mousetrap?
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Recognizing that there is a problem. That’s step one (right after accepting the truth). Next? Action (albeit sometimes half-hearted):
I don’t want to get out of bed. I hear scratching, maybe biting, tip-tapping of only-can-be-assumed rodent feet scampering about as he’s (now don’t let that pronoun be the focus of your scrutiny) chewing on this and nesting in that. I try to avoid it (the creation) and him (the creature). Pretend I don’t hear it. Think to myself It’ll go away, I’ll deal with it later, Maybe it’ll deal with itself, and other variations of nonsense as I try to ease my worry and return to my desire: sleep. But he persists. Time is being sucked out of my life as the seconds tick by. This, whatever he is, has taken the last hour of my life. Ugh. I get up. I grab the cheaply made mechanical pencil that’s cracked down the center, the nylon rope that’s become unbraided, and the cracked storage tote that’s rockin’ some rainbow duct tape, and I McGuyver (an identity I often take on) myself a mousetrap. All of these things I would have previously thrown away: the pencil, the rope, and the tote. That is, in my previous life. But these tools have proven themselves before to have caught a mouse (perhaps even this same one) so we gonna try that feat again.
I had hoped to have ridden myself of this beast. Two nights ago, the words “we’d set up a trap with a stick, a rope, and a crate to catch muskrats and then we’d skin ’em” ran through my head. These words were spoken by my 95-year-old friend as he shared a story from his youth while we had coffee at McDonalds just a few weeks earlier. In the middle of the night, or early in the morning, just two days ago, I thought of those words and sprang out of bed and fashioned together a makeshift trap. I ain’t gonna lie. My first thought was to get the mousetrap that I bought at Lowe’s the other day. I was gifted a gift card, and that was my bright idea of a purchase. Actually, my idea was a Have-A-Heart trap, but 1. I couldn’t afford it. 2. It was quite large. And 3. The saleswoman recommended killing the little bugger as the vermin would just run off and be vermin elsewhere, bothering some other old schmuck (another identity of mine ). So I made the trap down on the van floor and lay in wait up on the bench. Wait. Wait. And wait, I did. And then…
There he was. Or… is that him? The room was dark. The light so dim. His silhouette ever so faint, but yes! I think there was movement. Snap! I pull the rope, but only after a brief hesitation. I miss him. Bummer! I reset it. Less scared, more hopeful this time as I jump back up on the bench. I wait. His eyes glisten in the sliver of light coming from the lighting control panel. Is that what I saw? His eyes? His eyes reflecting the glow of the display panel? Oh my. I wait. My vision becoming more clear. My hearing, astute. I hear licking. His tongue lapping up the peanut butter smeared on the scrap of cardboard taped to the upside-down lid. Lick. Lick. Snap! I got him! I think I got him. I race over (don’t be fooled by that phrase. It was merely one step, but I took it quickly). Victory! Only… he’s half in and half out. Is that considered half caught? Is this only half of a victory? I’m stunned. What now?
This looks like a messy situation. And one I hadn’t anticipated. I’d like a re-do, please. Someone reset the stage. I don’t want to touch this awkward problem that I, myself, have created. I peer over the top of the tupperware and see those eyes looking up at me as he lies pinned to the ground. I open the van door and give the tote a clean sweep with my foot as I shove it out the door. And you wanna know what happened next??? The little bugger tumbles, gets up, and high tails it not to the building to the right, not to the grass to the left, he runs right back underneath the van. Oh snap!
God often tells His people to annihilate the enemy. To not even save their cattle. To not keep any idols. To eliminate all sin and wickedness, knowing that even a little leaven can ruin the whole batch. I tried to kindly remove this nuisance of a critter. Now… I’m rolling up my sleeves. This is no joke.
