The Last Word
Like any Teen Drama Queen, Donnie always gets in The Last Word.
Surprisingly, with a country to run, a war to win, and inflation to control, Donnie finds the time to peruse every utterance by Barack Obama. At a campaign rally in Ohio, the former president joked, “All that gold appliqué in Trump’s Oval Office looks like Saddam Hussein opened a Cheesecake Factory. Trump should be on HGTV.”
Donnie was not about to let Obama get away with insulting the tastemaker who gave us chandeliers in the rest rooms at Mar-a-Lago. “Cheesecake Factory is a very successful American company!” How dare Obama insult a wonderful American company that probably tossed a few bucks into Donnies’ Ballroom?
At a Monday rally in Mississippi, Donnie harangued the crowd for nine minutes on his wonderful White House renovations. He described the executive mansion’s previous condition in dire terms, including a cracked column, missing ornamentation and broken tile. “The White House represents our country, and that has to be pristine. I would try and explain that to a guy like Obama, but he wouldn’t understand.”
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The (almost entirely White) crowd erupted in cheers and applause at that. It wasn’t exactly “Lock Her Up!” or “Send Them Back Where They Came From!” but it was the subtle “dog whistle” racism that draws crowds to MAGA rallies. “Remember when Obama disrespected the office of the Presidency by wearing a tan suit in mid-summer? He never saluted the guards when he exited Air Force One! Of course a Black guy would let the White House fall apart!”
Donnie finished his White House Renovation rant with typical self-praise. “I fix things very good, very beautifully. It’s a natural thing. It actually relaxes me.”
Some people relax with meditation, doing crafts, or listening to music. Donnie relaxes by paving over the Rose Garden, turning the Reflecting Pool algae green, and demolishing the White House East Wing. Most people (especially those paying for it with their tax dollars) find those projects less than “good” or “beautiful”.
Take that, Obama! Donnie got The Last Word. Game, Set and Match to Trump!
By Ed Dufton
