Active listening —How is it different than just listening?
One of the most important ideas that stood out to me in interpersonal communication is the concept of active listening. To me, listening seems easy because you either hear someone or you don’t. But I have learned that listening is a skill, and it is very different from just hearing what someone says. Hearing is just automatic and involuntary, while listening is intentional and requires focus. In communication, I think about this because you don’t learn as much as you could if you are the one talking the whole time, and real understanding of a person or a concept only happens when you actively listen.
Active listening is often described as one of the most basic human needs because people, including me, want to feel understood and to understand others. According to research on effective communication in teams, listening with humility helps build trust, improve collaboration, and strengthen relationships (Reflection Point, n.d.)
Active listening involves more than just paying attention. It includes these five key elements:
· Receiving
· Understanding
· Remembering
· Evaluating
· Responding
Listening also comes in different styles:
· People-oriented listeners: focus on emotions and relationships.
· Content-oriented listeners: focus on facts and accuracy.
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· Time-oriented listeners: focus on efficiency and getting to the point.
These styles explain why people can hear the same message but interpret it differently.
Communication also happens in multiple ways beyond just speaking. We communicate through speaking, writing, nonverbal cues, and listening.
I feel like out of all of these, listening is the most overlooked, even though it is important in healthy relationships. For example, my boyfriend and I had to learn more active listening for each other when we communicate. Sometimes he is tired from work, I try to have an important conversation with him, and I notice him not being engaged or responding before I even finish. It makes me feel like he wasn’t fully listening. I realized I probably do this too sometimes, and we remind each other to listen and be engaged, so we know we are being heard and understood. And that’s why I think it is very important in healthy relationships. Another example I’ve noticed in my own life, is sometimes when I’m at the gym, my friend will come up to me to help me with form, and I have to use my active listening skills so that I understand how to fix my form and don’t forget, to accomplish this, I usually ask questions to make sure I’ doing it correctly and make eye contact. Both of these examples connect directly to what I’ve learned in class and why active listening is so important: listening is not just passive; it requires intention and effort.
In conclusion, from this concept, I’ve learned that communication is not just about expressing yourself, but it is just as important to listen and understand others. From experience, I can say active listening improves relationships, reduces conflict, builds trust, and even helps information stick with you better.
If I could give advice based on what I’ve learned, it would be to slow down, live in the moment, and focus on what the other person is actually saying, and in return, they will do the same for you, and you will both understand each other more, and it will build an even stronger relationship between you two. If you don’t know where to start, just use all the listening techniques I mentioned: asking questions, paying attention to non-verbal cues, and eye contact.
I strongly believe active listening is a skill that can completely change the quality of your relationships, personally and professionally.
References:
Reflection point (n.d.). Listening with humility is the foundation of better teams. https://www.reflectionpoint.org/whitepapers/listening-with-humility-is-the-foundation-of-better-teams?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21086562625&gbraid=0AAAAADf9-WhlK3WFCt00hnSGHrae0zA_5&gclid=CjwKCAjw-8vPBhBbEiwAoA39WkgMAuY1LjdAs_YdpNeuSVWxP6Yzjv3gLJQyEHfeOjN2Wp8T4SkQ0BoC9qsQAvD_BwE
National Center for Biotechnology Information (n.d.). Effective communication and listening skills. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK442015/
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