Look Back
When I think of a film that perfectly encapsulates the madness of creativity, I always think of “Look Back”. It is right. Artistry creates madness. It makes you crazy. It shuffles your mind. It makes you think, overthink, and even stop your brain from thinking. It drives you insane. It’s a reason to keep living, yet it makes you want to kill yourself. It gives sanity and insanity. Artistry will never be a simple thing in the bigger picture, especially in the eye of the artist.
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Ayumu Fujino was given reasons to stop as she was given reasons to continue. At some point I don’t ever think leaving the world of artistry is possible. Once you were given the chance to get obsessed over something, you’d never make a step too far from it. Sure, running away would help. Keeping the creations locked.
You can let the nib gather dust from the passing time, but the thought of keeping the potential out of your life forever will force you to go back to your world.
“You take the man out of the city, not the city out the man,” as Joe Keery wrote.
You can think of it as a curse. I know when Fujino sits in her room 24/7, drawing, she’s not thinking she’s one lucky gal to have such a talent. It will always be ‘Get things done.’ and ‘I need to get better’. The film started with people calling her a prodigy, a reason for her to keep going. It ended with life giving her a reason to keep doing it, making things closer to her chest as it clutches in pain. She never really took another step away from it. She lets it eat her the way her thoughts do. It ended the way it started. Things end the way it starts. So, look back.
