A Day In The Delhi Metro
‘She looked different today.’
I thought to myself while still scrolling my feed for all the new posts of exciting lives my peers were living. And me? I was still sitting in the same Delhi metro from Sector 45 to Rajiv Chowk just to get reprimanded by my boss for being late.
It’s not as if she cares what I think. She looks too busy being in her own world holding the same book I have seen since the past 2 months. The only book I have ever seen her be engrossed in.
I wonder what is so special about it that she doesn’t even pay heed to her surroundings apart from checking whether her station arrived or not which happens to be the same as mine. Sometimes I ponder upon the thought that is she really that slow of a reader or maybe she is not even reading and simply engrossed in her own thoughts with her headphones on just like me. But then I see her flipping pages. Maybe not an avid reader and still finding a preferred genre.
She must work around my office, I often think to myself.
But the book and the engrossed vibe isn’t what made me look at her the first time. It was HER.
I’m not the type of guy to only fall for a woman’s beauty but she, she was different. Even though she wasn’t the prettiest woman I had ever seen yet there was something about her, something that had bewitched me about her that would just not let me turn my eyes away.
I obviously didn’t want to look like a creep or even an obsessive stalker or for the least a hopeless guy who has a mere crush so I made sure she never noticed and didn’t make her uncomfortable. The world around for women is already enough to make her feel that, especially in a city like Delhi which poses to be the heart and soul of our nation.
However, today there was something different about her. She wasn’t necessarily engrossed in the same book today. She looked happy, energetic, not tired of the same mundane mornings and excited. She was looking around for the first time in 2 months.
This was also the first time in 2 months I was anxious of whether she would actually notice me or not and if so what will she think of me? I started fixing my shirt and overcoat in the drizzly December trying to set my hair better. I knew I wasn’t handsome or for the least noticeable either, but I had to give it a try.
She was finally looking out the window to see the beautiful city around her filling with opportunities.
I always sat across her whenever I got a chance or stood faraway from where I could admire her being her, and not just because she was beautiful in my eyes, but because of a reason even I wasn’t aware about.
Seeing her everyday had become a habit of comfort, and not to remind really few people get a chance to see their crush every day. She was like that calm after a catastrophe, like you know that cup of black coffee which is simple yet the best thing you could start your day with. Her eyes were filled with that glim of hope and that restlessness to reach her destination while feeling every emotion experienced in her journey. She always kept her hair up in a neat ponytail, maybe sometimes with flicks on good hair days. But today, she had finally let those strands caress her face. I was in awe of her just like every other day but today she seemed like a different person, like someone whose wait was finally over.
Station after station, the seats beside her started getting more vacant and I was standing right across from her. A clear witness to her glee.
Finally a seat next to her got vacant and the bag on my shoulders was weighing me down from yesterday’s gym session. I really wanted a seat but couldn’t find any other apart from it. My crush on her wouldn’t let me be suddenly in the same air as her but my body was protesting against the need. I saw another man about to approach that seat and I don’t know what happened but I wasn’t able to hold on any longer and leapt to get that seat.
I looked desperate, I had never done this before. What had happened to me. People around me were startled with my rapid movement. I was dying with embarrassment when she spoke.
Hold on WHAT? SHE SPOKE…. To ME?!?!?!
“Woah, cool down! My station, Rajiv Chowk is almost here I would have given u my seat. You seemed exhausted, I wouldn’t have minded.”
At that exact moment my brain went numb and I was staring at her dumbfounded as if I had never seen a woman speak before. She looked ethereal and her voice, though husky had that sweet melody in it. Probably sweeter than honey and caramel. She smiled at me while I felt like an absolute idiot who had embarrassed himself in front of his crush.
‘Don’t stare into her soul you look like a creep.’ I immediately turned my red face over to the front when I thought this. After two months of crush I couldn’t make her feel unsafe around me.
‘Speak about something or otherwise you would seem like the fool you are.’
I spoke spontaneously yet hesitantly, “Umm, actually even I get off at Rajiv Chowk everyday by the same metro. I’m sorry if I startled you by any chance, I wasn’t meaning to be rude.”
‘Thank God!’ I thought to myself. Whatever I had said at least I didn’t embarrass myself or so I thought.
She chuckled. And yes I am losing my mind over her laughing for the first time.
“No, absolutely not. You don’t have to be sorry about it I was just kidding. Aisha” she said as she brought her hand forward for a handshake.
I was blushing visibly now and shook my hand, “Karan.”
This was the first time I had made an eye contact with her. I thought till date her face was the prettiest thing I had ever seen, but her eyes proved me wrong so vigorously my heart started throbbing as it would explode out from my ribcage.
“Nice name” she said being kind as she was just when a few days back she gave her seat to an old lady.
“Pretty eyes” I replied without a second thought and realised what I had said. Her eyes so radiant took my breath and ability to think away, they were HAZEL. This was my first time seeing someone with that eye colour in real life.
She giggled at the compliment and I felt a little at ease. ‘As long as she is not creeped out by me, its fine.’
“So, where do you work in Rajiv Chowk?” Oh so she liked chatting? Well she hadn’t yet seen my talkative side, she would love it if I was right about her personality.
“I am an Engineer at Microsoft, what about you?”
“Can you guess?” By the way she looks I would have said ‘in heaven’ but would have been too corny for a first conversation.
“Well you look like someone who likes creativity or maybe something related to social sciences and research?”
She stood astounded at my guess. “Wow, quite commendable huh? Mr. Engineer”
I blushed hearing those words from her lips.
‘Is this how this love story starts?’ I asked myself and filled my mind with questions of our future and even a picture perfect family with her, as is the tendency of every man in love. LOVE!
Could this be? No, no. That’s not possible. Me.. and love? Together? Absolutely not! I must be daydreaming or deluded or something else I don’t know. But hearing the sound of her voice soothing the veins of my heart and especially that smile which was far more priceless than my time, I had lost all tracks of consciousness. I think I was finally in Love.
Get Mahikaul’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
YESS! Someone like me who has only cared about academics and a good and well-paying career had now found a woman that makes his heart beat that made a rich lifestyle, a mansion and a BMW seem all useless if it wasn’t with her. Before I could further ignite my dreams and future with her she spoke to my glee.
“I am a risk analyst at American Express, Aisha Kapoor.” And she handed me her card.
I took it hesitantly and read her name written in the prettiest black font. I think it resembled her. Just as simple yet unique as her own. It quite reflected the essence of her and her name.
I again rushed my hand towards my wallet and removed my business card for her. “I am the head software engineer at Microsoft, Karan Randhawa.”
She took it warmly and kept it in the pocket of her blazer. This was the happiest moment I could have ever imagined myself. I mean who would have thought that my unrequited crush on a lady I see every day on the metro, who never talks to anyone else by the way, would suddenly start a conversation with me and we would exchange our business cards, or maybe further, phone numbers?
The thought of it filled my body and heart with a spark of joy and shyness. I, who had never been shy or for the least hesitant, in speaking my mind was blushing like an idiot and smiling wide in front of maybe the only love of my life.
She would either be my endgame or my biggest heartbreak, and there was no in between. I wasn’t scared today, to gamble it all away.
Right before I was about to say anything, our station had arrived. With a heavy heart I was finally exiting the metro which had given me my love, my will of life and happiness. The only good part about it was that she was also getting off with me.
“I can maybe share a ride with you till your office, if you don’t mind.” I said while we both got off the metro. At this point I was trying my best to not look like some clingy creep.
“No need, someone is coming to pick me up, after all I also have to shift by the end of the day I would definitely need some help.”
‘What? What was she talking about?’
I was kind of sad at the rejection but I didn’t show it on my face. We both were just standing and waiting at the station for her friend to come and pick her up.
As a decent man, I had sought to make her safe until she was in the company of her friend, even though it was just 9:30 am.
With my overflowing curiosity getting the better of me I finally spoke, “What did you mean by when you said you were going to shift? Are you leaving Delhi?”
The moment I said that I realised I was being too nosy. I mean why would she even tell a random man that she had met just that day on a Delhi metro about where she was going and why. I immediately corrected myself.
“No, like I wasn’t asking like as in where are you going. I just meant..”
At my loss of words she chuckled again. By now I had started falling in love with her more and more especially at her small and cute habit of giggling whenever I made a silly mistake.
“Its alright, actually yes I am shifting to…”
She paused and looked right behind me as if she had noticed someone.
She finally sprung up with joy leaving me absolutely mesmerised at her sight. She then started running to something behind me and when my gaze followed her…. It was a man.
I noticed his tall and well-built figure, a fair and structured face. The fluffiest silky hair and a beautiful smile. Much better than mine.
She leapt into his arms while he effortlessly swung her around in joy. It looked as if they were a couple finally reuniting after years of struggle.
She was happy. The happiest I had seen her.
I still disillusioned my thoughts by thinking they were just best friends maybe having a get together until he… he kissed her.
His left hand wrapped around her waist, perfectly covering her. The right one caressing her face better than her hair could. And her lips perfectly merging with his as if that’s what they waited for.
Me? I was just standing there in the middle of a huge crowd, dismayed and filled with the unbearable pain of the biggest heartbreak of my life. The dreams of our future together fitted in a perfect picture just came crashing down from my thoughts. The worst and even my most unimaginable fear had come through. And with that came regret.
My mind was burdened with the weight of regret. ‘Why? Why had I talked to her today, falling for her more and more? Why couldn’t I just have left things where they were and one fine day she would have stopped boarding that metro and I would be left with sadness and confusion but at least my dreams wouldn’t have been hurt.’
I had no one to blame for it. Not her, not her partner, not me just my stupid expectations. I could feel the tears about to glide down my eyes when she looked around to find me. I quickly turned away to wipe them off and to look at least presentable so that the remains of my shattered dreams could not prick her.
She came running to me filled with excitement while holding her partner’s hand and dragging him to meet me. I would have felt better if she left without looking back but she chose to keep her friendship, the only emotion she felt in the past 20 minutes. At least one of us had realistic expectations.
She merrily introduced me to her partner.
“Madhav, this is Karan he works here in Microsoft, and Karan this is Madhav, my fiancé.”
‘Fiancé?’ not only had I fallen in love with a woman I was not supposed to but also the one who was betrothed to another man. The pain was excruciating now, I felt it would crush my heart if I did not release it through my eyes.
That kind tall man raised his hand for a handshake and I shook it.
“Nice to meet you sir, and also I am sorry for the troubles she must have caused to you on your not-so peaceful way to go to work with her chattering.” He joked as she jabbed his arm.
All I could do was smile through my heartbreak because she genuinely looked happier with him around her, and that’s all I wanted. I wanted her to succeed, have a good life filled with love and happiness even if it meant that I wasn’t a part of it.
She further explained that she was finally shifting with her fiancé to Switzerland as they would get married there and live the rest of their lives residing in that land. They had been in a long distance relationship for over 6 years. Way more than I could have known her. Maybe this is why she always seemed so distracted and sad in the metro because she was missing him. And she was joyous today as she would see him.
While she was leaving with her partner, she did look behind at me and passed a smile as to say good bye because she knew we would never cross paths ever again in life. I too smiled back as to wish her the best life she could ever imagine. While she was parting ways with me with her heart filled with joy, I was at least happy about one similarity between us.
We were both looking at the love of our lives, just in two different people. And I was looking like a man who has got nothing to lose anymore and she..?
‘She looked different today.’
