Becoming
“Be yourself!” — “Be the best version of yourself!” — “Become who you are!” So much focus on the self.
But what does that actually mean? Who we are — what we experience as the “self” — isn’t really something concrete after all. It’s more like a very long story that we keep telling ourselves, never quite knowing what came first: reality, or what we piece together about it and our role within it. Seen this way, we’re all storytellers.
Perhaps that is also one reason why, despite the powerful algorithms that are omnipresent, we pay so much attention and attribute abilities precisely to those that speak — like us. Those that use the same tool for transmitting information. Perhaps this new technology both frightens and fascinates so many of us because the essence of being human lies in communicating, describing the world and ourselves through language.
Becoming is a peculiar thing. It is passive — something becomes — yet at times it appears as an active act, or is at least inextricably linked to our actions and decisions. We become what we are; seen this way, that is indeed somewhat true. Our role, our environment, everything we do (or don’t do) shapes our character and flows into our self-narrative.
Now for the personal stuff. My journey. It’s felt so good for a while now, and I catch myself fearing that things will come back to balance. If things are this good for so long, something worse is bound to happen. As if there were some kind of fairness authority ensuring that progress and setbacks stay nicely balanced. Above all, I look for my part in it as if it were a justification. Surely so much good can’t just happen on its own, out of the blue.
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So much for the thoughts. But there’s also: trust. Maybe that’s just how it feels when you set out on a path that suits you. When you open yourself up to the world, take on small personal risks. Do things you’re good at, and things that require effort and are beyond your comfort zone.
Recently, I heard a wonderful quote from historian Anette Kehnel: “History cultivates a sense of possibility. The world is so much richer and more colorful than we could ever grasp in a single lifetime, in our Present.”
In this small slice of the world that belongs to me and my life, good things are happening right now. To me, all around me. Perhaps this will change very soon, perhaps it will continue this way, perhaps it will be completely different. Whatever happens — I have the impression that I can feel it, this becoming, not as a goal but as a state of being. And that, in turn, reminds me of the unassuming white slip of paper that has been hanging above my desk for years. It’s been there so long that I can no longer say for sure how it actually came to be there. You can kind of tell that it’s been with me through several moves. It reads:
Nothing becomes, nothing is, nothing remains in heaven and on earth
Except these two: one is doing, the other is becoming.
(Daniel Czepko von Reigersfeld)
