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When someone promises the marriage will be different
Before I got married, there were signs.
That is probably one of the hardest sentences for me to write.
Before our engagement, there were times when my partner seemed emotionally nowhere to be found. People in our families asked both of us whether we were sure about getting married. I had doubts too. Yet whenever the concerns became serious enough that I wondered whether I should walk away, I was reassured that marriage would be different.
We would work on things.
We would get help.
We would communicate.
We would deal with our intimacy problems.
I believed those promises.
What makes this harder for me to process now is that, before the marriage, I had already spoken with a therapist about the sexual difficulties in the relationship. She was very direct with me. She cautioned me against marrying someone when erectile dysfunction and sexual problems were already significant and unresolved.
I heard her.
I understood what she was saying.
And I still got married.
That is the part I struggle with now.
