Limbo
Every single time I tweet something related to job hunting I get a sympathetic response from someone in my field. We’ve all been there, I gather. I’m in a limbo now, not because I don’t know what’s going to happen after Brexit, but because I’m between the submission of my PhD and my viva.
I submitted my PhD on the first week of June. I was broken, tired and physically and mentally ruined. It took me a while to go back to ‘normal’ — the most normal I’ve been since I started the PhD — , but then two things happened: the date of my viva was set, and I had to start applying for jobs. The viva is scheduled for the second week of September, which leaves me a nice gap of around three months between submission and examination. On top of this, the only job I have is a zero-hour contract, which means I only work those shifts I am given. And there’s no minimum, so that means there’re weeks in which I do just one shift. This was great for when I was frantically writing up — it gave me time and some disconnection — but the moment I submitted I realised it wasn’t enough. I mean, who can survive in London (or anywhere else) earning £300 a month?
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And so some anxiety, that old friend I had supposedly banished from my life the moment I clicked ‘submit’, came back. I was no longer teaching, and the huge effort my family made to help me finish the PhD had to stop soon. I had to find a job soon. At that moment there were four jobs that I liked, and so I eagerly applied. I thought I was qualified enough to do any of them, and that I would at least be invited for an interview for one of them. Naïve, I hear you say. I wasn’t shortlisted for them.
As of today, I found two other jobs that sound good for me, but of course my confidence is a bit shattered. While I’m preparing my applications for those, I’ve registered with every temp agency under the sun. I’ve applied for almost everything that relates to my experience — mostly customer service, admin, receptionist — but nobody calls. Yesterday I did my first actual interview for a reception job. If I get it, and considering what’s happened lately that is a big ‘if’, at least I’d have ‘something’ while still searching out there for a job in my field. The truth is that today I have nothing.
I’m sure this has happened to many of you. After all, I submitted just two months ago, right? I shouldn’t panic just yet. But there’re bills and rent to pay, and it’s difficult not to give in to despair and desperation. It’s hard not to feel useless, or not to feel like a burden for others. Days pass without having achieved anything.
But something will come.
