Relationship Advice
How to Love Someone With Past Relationship Trauma
Understanding the delicate boundary between offering support and taking responsibility for their healing.
I’m in love with a girl who has had a very traumatic past. She has admitted to me that she likes me, however she is afraid of starting anything because of said trauma. What should I do?
When someone you love opens their heart to you but pulls back out of fear, it creates a delicate emotional dilemma. Past emotional wounds can make some bonds feel overwhelming, leaving you eager to help but unsure of how to proceed safely.
Before taking any steps forward, you need to turn your focus inward. The very first thing to do is to assess yourself. Are you capable of handling a traumatized person?
Because if not, you’ll just end up hurting yourselves badly.
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Dealing with a person who has had a very traumatic past is not for the weak. You must be resilient enough to take on everything that comes with trauma. You must also be willing to become a tool in her healing.
But remember that it is not your burden to heal and fix her. That responsibility lies solely on her. After all, she can’t heal herself if she’s not willing to do it in the first place.
If you decide your love can attest to your potential relationship, you must be willing to provide her the needed assistance as a partner. Be with her in every step of the way and be patient with her. As much as possible, do not trigger her trauma.
However, if you think that it’s best to allow her to fix herself alone. Give her the time she needs to heal from her trauma. Anyway, love is patient. It can always wait until when is the right time to start a relationship.
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