Jesy Nelson’s Recent Interview Is Very Concerning
Three months ago, I wrote an article about Jesy Nelson and a history of her problematic behavior. I honestly thought that the internet would move on or forget about it. It was only during these past two weeks that my piece has “blown up.”
I was waiting for Nelson to speak on the matter and clear the air. I expected a sharp push; she was going to be fierce and upfront with it. She has an explanation or reason, I presumed. Now she’s going to work it out with her publicist and she’ll be instructed on how to approach things.
Oh, I was very wrong to assume so.
I never thought I’d have to do a follow-up, but I feel that this is quite necessary. Problematic behavior and drama aside, there’s something going on with Miss Nelson. Recently, The Guardian published an interview with the singer and it’s frankly one of the most off-putting things I’ve read in a while. No. It’s not off-putting the same way a horror film is. It was like having a conversation with someone you just met — and everything’s going well — but all of the sudden you feel like they’re hiding something or not being completely truthful. Maybe there’s an exaggeration or something’s being brushed off too quickly? I don’t know how else to describe it.
The Guardian can be hit-or-miss, so I wasn’t surprised when the cover read: “Sole Sister.” Given that Nelson is still receiving backlash for styling herself to appear racially ambiguous, surely the editors knew what they were doing by using a play on words for “soul sister,” a term that’s usually associated with Black women. But no, it’s supposed to be meta; Nelson is a “sole sister” because she’s on her own now.
There’s a scene in the music video for “Think About Us” that shows Little Mix in a platform-style room, surrounded by dancers. Everyone is wearing white —including Jesy Nelson. She has her hair down, embracing the natural waves she was born with. She’s settled for her usual makeup look: a dark, smokey eye with a nude lip.
“I never wanted to wear white,” she told Simon Hattenstone, “because I thought white made me look fat.”
True to her beliefs, Nelson sported a corset while filming the group scene. The stylists had also brought her a pair of high-waisted pants. The other members bared their legs or wore something that was tight-fitting.
Hattenstone was chosen to interview the pop star. Nelson had just finished a photoshoot. Though she’s polite and cordial, there’s something about the singer’s demeanor that’s troublesome.
Nelson is about to release her first solo single and she says she is happier than she has been in years, Hattenstone writes. But you wouldn’t know it: she looks painfully self-conscious, unsmiling and anxious.
Self-conscious. Unsmiling. Anxious.
Those aren’t the words that fans would use when they describe Nelson, especially when she strutted across the stage during her time in Little Mix. She could belt high notes and rock an entire outfit made out of sequins. She had a sense of humor, too.
“All I have to do is [smell] chocolate cake, and I put on a stone,” Nelson once chimed during her time on The X Factor.
The 20-year-old was quickly targeted for her appearance; it was the self-deprecating quips that served as a coping mechanism. As she would later tell Hattenstone, the show’s producers didn’t do much to shield her from the trolling — let alone offer the proper resources, such as counseling. The only support came from her new friends: Perrie Edwards, Leigh-Anne Pinnock, and Jade Thirlwall. During the group’s fourth week on the show, Nelson began to speak about what she was experiencing. It was Thirlwall who wiped away her tears, assuring the older girl that she was one of the best people she’d ever met. Their mentor, Tulisa Contostavlos, told Nelson that she was proud of her and the other girls. They were strong, and had a lot to show for it.
But as we’ve come to learn, Nelson was putting up a barrier; if she could poke fun at herself, maybe no one else would? She was quite charming in interviews. Nelson speaks with a distinct accent that indicates her upbringing in Romford. Sometimes her bandmates would tease her for being a pottymouth. If the girls were placed on a couch, they would sit close together with their knees often touching. You would think that they had known one another since childhood.
Nelson talks about the tattoos that cover her body. There’s one on her arm: XIX.VIII.XI (19 August 2011). That was day Little Mix was put together on X Factor. Though she doesn’t talk about it, there’s a large rose on her left inner arm, from the elbow to the wrist. It was inked onto her skin in December 2013, not long after her first suicide attempt.
There’s another one on her thigh that reads: A tiger will never lose sleep over the opinion of sheep. Nelson was supposed to be the tiger.
“It basically means I couldn’t give a shit about what people think about me any more. If you don’t like me, then ta-ta.”
Hattenstone asks her if she really felt that way at the time. No, Nelson admits. If anything, the tattoo was a form of comfort.
“Now I’m genuinely in the best head space I’ve been, but back then I used to pretend I was. I was actually like a little lamb. I do believe as you get older you learn not to give a shit.”
This is where Hattenstone makes it clear that he’s hesitant to believe Nelson.
He writes: Listen to Nelson tell her story […] it seems anything but a linear progression towards self-belief.
The singer talks about her childhood; though times were tough, she had no issues with herself or her body image. When she got older, however, a couple of bullies targeted Nelson at her school. She remembers feeling very anxious, and even developed alopecia (hair loss). A few years later, she was working as a barmaid and had become quite popular with the regulars. Nelson recalls watching The X Factor and thinking to herself: Yeah, I could do that!
“Before I got into the industry, any of my friends and family will tell you that I was the most confident person. Then it all fell apart.”
That’s where I had the realization: Nelson hadn’t thought it out well enough.
It was like she’d dove into a pool without checking to see how deep it was. Perhaps Nelson had expected to gently touch the bottom with her feet, then rise up to the surface for air. But something went wrong; she’d forgotten how to “swim” once the reality hit.
Nelson winces when recalling her audition. Three of the judges, including Tulisa, saw a lot of potential; Gary Barlow felt the opposite. He called her voice “generic.” Though she’d gotten through with a 3–1 vote, Nelson was devastated at Barlow’s criticism. She walked backstage and broke down into tears, telling her mom that she didn’t want to come back.
Hattenstone, very bluntly, asks Nelson if that was one of the first signs that she was “too sensitive” for the business.
“Maybe,” the singer admits shyly.
I ask Nelson when she was happiest in the band, Hattenstone writes.
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Her answer left him shocked. She says that it was “before all the TV stuff, when [the girls] were living at Perrie’s mum’s place.” The group had just been put together and were getting to know one another. Not once did they think about what was to come. Noting how surprised he was to hear this, Nelson reassures Hattenstone that she “wouldn’t change [her] journey” because it made her the person that she is today.
I’ll admit, that’s what made me shake my head in disbelief. If Nelson was aware that her “journey” would lead her down a path of death threats, long-term anxiety, eating disorders, suicide attempts, several stints in the hospital, and an overwhelming amount of panic attacks… would she really agree to go through it all again in order to be a famous singer? If her life almost ended (more than once) because of it, is the fame really worth it…even in hindsight?
It would be fair to suggest that there was tension within the group during Nelson’s final year. It’s the small things you have to look at.
If you’ve been following the group for quite a while, you may very well be asking yourself: “How the hell could those girls have moments where they didn’t get along?”
When Nelson is speaking to the camera in the band’s Glory Days film, she admits that not everything is sunshine and rainbows. For instance, she talks about how Edwards “has her moments.” During Little Mix: The Search, Nelson appeared to be the toughest judge, butting heads with her bandmates about which act to send through. There was a pinch of awkwardness to it, but for all we know she might’ve just been taking her job too seriously.
Then there was an interview in 2019, where Nelson was doing promo for her documentary, Odd One Out. The interviewer, when discussing cyberbullying and internet trolls, asks her if she ever discussed the trauma with Pinnock (who had been subjected to something similar, but with an abhorrent amount of racism). After all, they both had been addicted to social media and were purposely searching for the hate comments.
“No,” Nelson says. “I knew [the hate] affected Leigh-Anne, though. Um… she’s just better at dealing with it than me.”
What about the livestream in April 2020 where Nelson attempted to glorify Edwards’s slow metabolism? It was a result of the South Shields native undergoing numerous operations as a child; her esophagus was too small for her to eat many things. And can we agree how inappropriate it was for Nelson, in that same livestream, to tell Thirlwall, who nearly died from anorexia as a teen, that she “doesn’t put on any weight”? Oh, but there’s an extra twinge of discomfort when you remember that Thirlwall, in the early days of Little Mix, felt pressured into getting a breast augmentation because she was shamed for being “too skinny.”
What probably hurts the most for fans is the fact that Edwards, Pinnock, and Thirlwall have continued to be very supportive of Nelson since her departure. They don’t appear to have any ill feelings towards their friend, yet Nelson has been cryptic and “shady” towards the history she’s shared with them.
“I loved what we did in Little Mix,” Nelson admits to Hattenstone. “But it wasn’t necessarily the music I would listen to myself.”
Her comments resemble that of Zayn Malik, who once stated that he wasn’t too keen on the music he made with One Direction. Upon this revelation, many were surprised, while others weren’t. Nelson had said long ago that she preferred R&B and hip-hop over most genres — a stark contrast to the upbeat pop music that Little Mix has been pressured to do for the last ten years.
There’s a theory floating around that Nelson had been contemplating her departure for quite a while, solely based on the type of music she was “allowed” to write. If you look at the discography of Little Mix, only two of their six albums would, arguably, be R&B-oriented: Salute and LM5.
No one is arguing that the group’s lyrics haven’t matured, but there was always the question as to what audience the label was pushing them towards. A bit of controversy arose among parents when Get Weird featured a single called “Hair,” where the lyrics go: ‘Cuz he was just a dick and I knew it. But “dick” is censored with a ding! sound effect. Little Mix, even on their debut album, had always attempted to sound mature. They were never trying to appeal to 5 and 6-year-olds, but if a young child liked the sound of their music…that’s an issue? How laughable.
For Nelson to say that she wasn’t too fond of the music she made with Little Mix is understandable. Yet, it’s a bit odd to hold that statement up above your shoulders when you appear not to have any writing credits on the final project that you clearly had a say in. (Some sources cite Nelson’s “last” songwriting credit being from the group’s fifth album, with “Love A Girl Right.”)
For Confetti, Nelson had been vocal about her optimism for its release.
“With this album,” she’d told the press, “we just had fun and wrote songs that we liked and it came together.” Her bandmates agreed, stating that the album consisted of “cheery” songs and how “not every single one of them [had] a deep meaning.” Though Nelson did write one of the album’s lead singles — also titled “Confetti” — there’s been confusion as to why her name doesn’t appear on a majority of the songs. Edwards, Pinnock, and Thirlwall, however, have credits almost everywhere you look.
“If Jesy wants to trash the music,” an irate Twitter user wrote, “that’s one thing…but how the fuck is she gonna say that shit when she barely showed up to the studio to write with Leigh and Jade?” Someone else mentioned that Nelson had no right to complain about “repetitive songs” when “her [vocals] always sound the same.”
Nelson’s hypocrisy comes from an earlier comment she had made, where songwriting was apparently one of the best forms of therapy for her. Whenever her mental health starts to decline, Nelson writes down lyrics as a way to cope. Overall, that’s an indication that she has no problem writing songs and getting to work. What needs to be clarified is whether or not she was actively participating in the production process during her final year in Little Mix.
A lot of people may not like what I’m about to say, but this is where I’m allowing my bias to step in: Nelson is lying to herself.
No way in hell would anyone allow themselves to go through all of that madness willingly. What’s the appeal of our trauma turning us into a “better” or “stronger” person? If a life-changing or near death experience gives you a new outlook on your existence, that’s one thing. To share your struggles with someone else so you can support each other is also okay. But to allow your mental health to deteriorate to the point where you are an absolute risk to yourself? To the point where you don’t want to get out of bed? That’s not inspiring. That’s heartbreaking. And I say this because I am fucking terrified for Jesy Nelson.
If the person interviewing you makes it evident to the reader that even he doubts your readiness, that says a lot. When you tell the same interviewer that maybe a harsh “no” from a judge was an early sign of your severe sensitivity, that’s a red flag. When you can’t keep track of your stories and your reasoning begins to change, that’s another thing to circle and highlight. When you say ignorant comments — and continue show the public your ignorant behavior — that’s a problem. To lie and say you “weren’t aware” that people have been calling you out for blackfishing when, several months back, you’d been blocking comments left and right.
I must ask: “Did Jesy Nelson stop going to therapy?”
A lot of this doesn’t add up. She had been speaking to a specialist during the filming for Odd One Out. Nelson had learned about positive coping mechanisms and was finally at a place to where she could look at old videos of herself without bursting into tears. Her emotions had improved for the better, though there were still moments of clear anxiety.
It’s never been about an attempt to try and downplay Nelson’s mental health. If anything, I wholeheartedly agree that it’s torn her apart over the years. In fact, I consider it to be the factor in her decision to leave Little Mix. No one is telling her to stop writing songs. No one is out here telling Nelson, directly to her face: “You don’t deserve a solo career.” No. It’s not about any of this.
I believe Nelson when she said that she never had intentions to go solo upon her departure from the group. I find it troubling, however, that just two and a half months later, she rationalized signing a solo contract and not one person thought it was necessary to ask, “Jesy, are you sure you’re ready?” No one heals or finds peace with themselves in that short amount of time, no matter what a novel or feature film says.
She can write songs all she wants, but she doesn’t have to produce an entire album right away for public approval. She doesn’t have drag herself into the intense pressure and expectations of a solo artist. Furthermore, is no one going to talk about how her debut single is going to have a feature (i.e. Nicki Minaj)? The record company must not think that she’s able to carry a song by herself and that’s quite sad.
I really wish Nelson had taken more time; traveling around the world, writing a book, spending time with friends and family — all of these things are ultimately better when it comes to healing and “finding yourself.” Yes, everyone has their own way of dealing with stress or coping. But when you put all of the pieces together, there’s a heavy indication that Jesy Nelson really isn’t ready to be on her own right now.
With all of this being said, I also suspect that Nelson worries about agism in the music industry. Back in 2020, she’d made a remark about “turning thirty [next year] and still being in a girl group.” Could that have been a subtle hint that she wanted to push her own work out sooner rather than later? Who knows at this point.
I’m extremely concerned for the singer’s well-being. And you should be, too. A solo album can wait. If the fandom is out here saying that Edwards, Pinnock, and Thirlwall should take a break and stop pushing themselves, where’s that energy for Nelson? Two and half months of silence was “enough” for her to get better? Making impulsive decisions and trying to push out an album in less than a year is okay for someone in her mental state? I don’t think so.
It’s time for us to think about the bigger picture.
