Never Alone
Her anxiety started to become too much for her to bare. That feeling of unwanted energy crept up her body and surged through her fingertips. She wanted to scream. She wanted to rip her hair out. Life was becoming tough again. Or did it just never get easier? Was it all a facade? She took off her clothes, and with those articles, she let her the boulders on her shoulders drop to the floor. She didn’t need them anymore. She dipped one toe in the scolding water and then another. Slowly, she submerged her shaking body under the water. The bubbles hugged her now relaxed body and popped all about her. A tear escaped her eye as she thought about her life before her. Why was she like this? Why did anxiety and fear control her body? Why did she resort to a blade and warm blood to ease her inner turmoils? Why couldn’t she handle her emotions? Why wasn’t she like everyone else? Why didn’t anyone care? And then it hit her. The Monster was back at it again. He was trying to pull her under. But she knew deep within her soul, that her life was not his to take.
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So many emotions flooded her brain. She wan’t so badly to put her fist through the wall behind her. She wanted to smash that mirror because looking at herself made her sick. But then, she stopped. She stopped overthinking. She stopped the constant critiquing of herself. She let the warm water wash over her still shaking body. She took a facecloth and let all her pains and sorrows soak into it alongside the bubbly water. She lifted it slowly above her head. She let the water slide down her frame. She shivered as it dripped down her face, down her chest, back and abdomen, and finally returning into the tub of this clear healing liquid. She repeated this over and over again. Tears escaped her eyes again, but this time of gratitude. As she let the classical music she had playing in the background sink into her brain, she realized something. Maybe she wasn’t really ever alone. She felt God beside her. She felt His mighty presence. She could feel Jesus taking away all of her pain, one worry at a time. Contrary to what she originally thought, there would never be a moment where she was alone. Sure, the people around her may not have time for her, to help keep her afloat, but God was always listening. He would always pull her out of that current that was pulling her with such strength in the opposite direction away from her goals and accomplishments. Maybe it was time she started to believe in His ability to catch her when she falls. She stood up in the cool white bathtub. Along with the soapy water dripped all of her prior agony and dispair into the drain. She looked in the mirror with a smile on her face. Because this time, she knew she would win the battle.
