Area Girl Declares: Dads Can Be Annoying

LOS ANGELES, CA — In an exclusive interview with our correspondent, Camden, Maine local, Beatrice Appleton-Mathis rolled her eyes to the ceiling and sighed, “Dads can be so annoying,” with an emphasis that only someone with years of lived experience, or at least 10 years of age, could muster. This candid revelation comes just days before Thanksgiving, setting the stage for a holiday Beatrice anticipates with a mix of dread and amusement.

Beatrice’s chief complaints? Her dad, along with Uncle Matt and other paternal figures in the family, have a tendency to take over the Thanksgiving festivities with their unique brand of humor and quirks. “They try to be funny,” Beatrice explained, “but it’s mostly dad jokes. And then they laugh at their own jokes, which is even worse.”

The percocios critic didn’t stop there. She pointed out the excessive eating habits of her father and his brother, Uncle Matt, during Thanksgiving. “They eat like they’ve never seen food before. And then they just lounge around, taking up the whole couch, watching what they call ‘classics’ but are actually just old people movies.”

Uncle Matt, a local screenwriter and producer known for his work in comedy films, apparently has a penchant for introducing the family to cinematic ‘gems’ from the 80s and 90s, much to Beatrice’s chagrin. “Why can’t we watch…