Mulligans
If given the chance to jump back
like a spring frog, to any point along the timeline
of your, hell, sorry, my life
to redress the errors of decision
I might ask if I could just
not, deny the mulligan
and instead, go further back
to the point where I did not exist
and stay there, in the void
unformed, lifeless, sterile
free from this curse of existence
saved from the endless shame of failure
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there at least I would haven’t this brain
this weird substance formed in a skull
that filters the reality all around us
running it through the cogs and levers
at varying speeds, to varying levels of understanding
some seeing more, most seeing less
Plato’s shadows on the wall, in the cave of the known
experiences piling up like the ashes of the dead
my dog died today
he was a good boy
if I could go back far enough
I would never have existed
and my heart would not
be, now, at this moment
in this damned life
breaking all apart
