Marketing | Cussing

Funnels

+Offers

Glug glug glug glug. (Photo by Ricardo Gomez Angel on Unsplash)

You know that amazing stuff you promise? That GREAT OFFER you allude to? The one where I have to subscribe to something completely different in order to get?

How come you can’t do it here?

Why do you keep the goods somewhere else — like your newsletter, or your website, or your online store?

Why can’t you just deliver it here?

What? You mean to tell me you’re on this platform to “create a funnel”?

If so, call me a clog. Because I’m not clicking. I’m not buying. I’m not going for it.

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Show us what you have. Right here, right now.

What’s stopping you?

Are you scared?

Nervous?

Full of it?

I bet you’re full of it.

You Know What Else Has a Funnel?

A fucking tornado.

And we don’t need those either ….

Swivels in, Swivels out.