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Worms of Wisdom
On the minor, damp planet of Zorbax — classified by most respectable astrophysicists as “mostly unnecessary but oddly persistent” — two superintelligent worms were engaged in what Zorbaxians called philosophical wriggling, and what everyone else called “arguing loudly through soil displacement.”
The first worm, Phlurn, was coiled in the shape of mild disappointment.
“The humans,” Phlurn said, “continue to make reproduction an elaborate performance art.”
The second worm, Glim, paused in the act of rearranging a pebble with his forehead.
“You mean,” Glim replied, “they have taken the single most straightforward evolutionary instruction — ‘please continue existing’ — and converted it into a multi-layered emotional escape room with interpretive dance?”
“Precisely,” said Phlurn. “We should admire the creativity. Or report it to a higher intelligence as a suspected glitch.”
Glim considered this. Worms, being superintelligent, tended to consider everything for at least three seconds before dismissing it as absurd.
“In fairness,” Glim said, “all successful species eventually develop rituals around reproduction. Birds do dances. Bees do geometry. Humans appear to have chosen… confusion.”
