Jerk reactions
Knee-jerk reactions are sometimes right and sometimes wrong; and while it is wise to listen to your intuition, it is foolish to let your ego shoot from hip. Shooting from the hip is a jerk reaction.
On social media (and elsewhere) there are shots taken first, with the questions being asked second. Taking hasty pot-shots at speculated or assumed injustices and wrong-doings without having all the facts beforehand, is wrong. While people tend to think they are right, speculation is often incorrect, which means that it is better to just keep your speculations to yourself.
The excellent advice is that you should ‘sleep on it’ before you come out swinging. Often, the next day, you realise it would be prudent not to say something in haste, if at all. I’ve seen friends who have had to eat humble pie and apologise for things they shouldn’t have said on social media in the heat of the moment.
Any person can be a jerk at times but I think it is bad all around if they are jerks in a public forum. Self-control is needed and yet there are people who feel entitled to attack others with their brand of fervent righteousness, but without due diligence.
Politics, in particular, has always been a touchy subject to discuss within groups of people with differing views. And identity politics has just amplified the jeopardy. Social media gives someone a way to respond to many differing points of view, and people feel that they can comment with a level of arms-length safety. You can’t literally get hit in the face by a Facebook comment. Things are said online that would not be said in face-to-face debates.
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There are people who make angry and provocative comments but on the other side there are those who are offended by it. One of the factors of morality that leads to social cohesion is to realise that offence is not the same as harm. If someone says something, or does something, that offends you, it doesn’t mean they have harmed you. You can choose to ignore it, with no harm done.
Also, every day, countless people say things that are patently true and definitely not meant to offend, but people are offended by then all the same, and they often react. It’s worth repeating: people can be offended by the truth, but how can the truth be harmful? It is worth remembering that there are always differences of opinion. The non-jerk thing to do is not to react.
People hide behind their avatars in order to vent but I don’t think it has the desired effect. This is because it’s not real or natural. To vent naturally you have to be face to face otherwise it doesn’t work properly. Venting online (especially anonymously and definitely within echo chambers) just amplifies your grievance. It is not an outlet, it is an inlet.
There is a psychological phenomenon called ‘belief perseverance’. Belief perseverance (also known as conceptual conservatism) is when a person maintains a belief despite hearing information that disproves or contradicts it. Indeed, beliefs can become stronger if other people attempt to present evidence debunking them — this is known as the ‘backfire effect’. People can and do identify with their beliefs. An attack on a belief, is like a personal attack and people will defend themselves. People don’t like to be called out especially when they firmly believe they are right. It is natural that people want life to be predictable and we can have a deep-seated need for the continuity of our ideas and beliefs. Too much change and disruption is usually unsettling in one way or another.
The point is that venting is not good for the venter and it probably has the opposite effect of what was intended.
A wise person knows there is more than one side to every story. Yet, a jerk thinks there is just one side to every story — their side. Taking sides is not a good idea if you don’t know all the facts. Even if you would naturally take the side of a family member or friend it is not good to just discount or ignore the fact that the other side has their own story.
My advice is instead of shooting first, keep your powder dry. Tolerance and goodwill are more important than any difference of opinion — just agree to disagree before you say anything.
Originally published at https://michaelclockhart.substack.com.
