I’ll never forget it. It was a cool, fall night.
This isn’t a sex story, I don’t tell all my business like that . Tf you think this is, a Trey Songz album?
Anyway, I was a junior in college. ODU, to be precise. They just built a new rec. center and the basketball courts were dumb nice. There were four courts in the facility. Three were beside each other and there was one in the back that could be converted to an indoor soccer field and other various activities. You only used that one to warm up on, or if the gym was packed.
There were a few unwritten rules to the courts. All games go to 16, win by 2. If no one had next then you can go to 21, or run the game back. If a foul was called and it couldn’t be agreed upon the the person who called foul had to shoot for it. The first court was for the all-stars. The real ballers or the guys who felt like they should be on the team. The second court was for the developmental crowd. They had skills but not enough to play with the big dogs. People from the all-star court would go there from time-to-time and work on their fundamentals or try out a new move. The third and final court was for the scrubs, that’s where you go to build confidence and advance to the second court.
A quick background of myself. Growing up I was overweight, like Sherman Klump overweight. I had huge man-boobs and my stomach was…well it was pretty big. I’m a hairy guy so in high school the football team nicknamed my torso Arthur. Yes, the same Arthur that keeps pretending he’s going to fight but we all know Francine was the real G on that show. Anyway, I was a defensive tackle so I never really cared about my weight back then. I was SUPPOSED to be big. Well, that’s how I justified eating two double cheeseburgers, a large fry, two apple pies, and gulping a large sweet tea after practice almost everyday. Then I’d go home and eat dinner.
My heart hurts just typing that.
When I graduated high school the scale tipped at 265. For a guy that’s only 5'9" that’s not good at all. During my freshman year my eating habits were the same until ODU announced they were getting a football team. That motivated me to get into somewhat decent shape and by the time tryouts started I was 250. I didn’t make the team but, hey, I was down 15 pounds and as happy as Stacey Dash at a klan rally.
My sophomore year came and went and I was still 250 pounds. My eating habits were still trash but not weight gain was good enough for me…until it wasn’t
I don’t know what happened, I just got tired of walking around campus with a towel in my hand for sweat, in the middle of January.
Side note: the more I think about it the grosser I feel that I actually had to carry a cloth drenched in my grease infested sweat.
That wasn’t a quick background at all, my bad. Y’all needed to know that info though so when the time of triumph comes you can feel liberated like when Calvin led the Knights into the playoffs.
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The summer before my junior year I decided to get my act together and lose weight. A co-worker of mine let me hold P90X and I was off. Before I went back to ODU I had dropped 35 pounds. I was a lean 215 and was shaped like a Greek God. My arms could deliver a clothesline from hell that would make JBL feel obsolete. Hercules would have been carrying my bag around had he been alive.
In other words, you couldn’t tell me sh*t.
I could run the court for like 5 games straight. If you hoop you know how hard that is. On top of that I believed in D’Antoni’s fast break offense. As soon as someone would get a rebound I was pushing the ball for a layup. It was wild.
One Friday night before we went out a few friends and myself decided to go get a few games in. The gym was pretty much empty but some people were on the third court. We had just enough to run 5’s and something told me it was going to be a special game.
The gym was cold, like they forgot that it was 50 degrees outside or something. I just bought Dirk’s playoff edition Nikes. Man I loved those joints. They were light, comfortable, and had great ankle support.
Anyway.
We traded points for some time then it happened. My boy committed a turnover and the other team was off on a fast break. I was standing in the corner behind the three point line so I had a lot of ground to make up. It didn’t matter, though, I knew what was about to happen.
The timing was perfect. Their point guard started to slow down, thinking it was going to be an easy finger-roll then all of a sudden…
BOOM!
I LEBRONED THAT FOOL. IT WAS MAGIC. I PINNED HIS WEAK SH*T AGAINST THE BACKBOARD AND EVERYTHING. IT WAS THE MOST MAGICAL THING ON EARTH OTHER THAN CHILDBIRTH.
My body wasn’t use to being that high without assistance so I had no idea how to land. I just ended up falling and hitting my head against the concrete wall near the court. My skull was throbbing. I ended up going to a Patient Care later that night because I thought I was concussed. It was worth it though and I’d do it again in a second.
The best part? That fool cried foul…but we all knew he was embarrassed.
I have a lot of great moments in life but that’s definitely top 5, maybe even top 4.
That’s all for today. Thanks for reading.
