Indispensable 1
I Don’t Understand How Time Passes. I thought I wrote my last post last week. It’s been a month… And I was sure I had completed my four-post quota last month. There are only three.
Time is something related to how we perceive it, okay, I know that. But what if our perception changes?
I don’t like change. Having everything planned and under control makes me feel at ease. I want to know the next step and act accordingly.
I’m slowly starting to realize that all of this is wrong. Life isn’t that kind of place. No matter how much you plan, things will fall apart. No matter how much control you try to maintain, sometimes events will go off the rails… Like everything else, we need to remind ourselves of this temporary uncertainty from time to time.
That’s what I’ll do here this month. Adding four posts to the blog every month is an agreement I made with myself. I’ve broken it a few times. And I pay for it with guilt, remorse, and self-criticism. Each time, it becomes a little more destructive.
But even while dealing with other things, I feel the urge to make my thoughts visible.
This morning, I had the idea of starting a series. A four-part one. I didn’t know what I would write about. I wasn’t sure whether they needed to meet under a common theme. But I had to do something. Because not writing is always worse for me.
And now it’s clear. I can write about the things I believe to be true. My non-negotiables…
Today’s topic was plans and control. Of course, the topics will be about me and whatever is happening in my life at the time.
For example, today, a friend is coming from another city, and we’re going to a concert. He’s a very laid-back person. He has work tomorrow and still hasn’t bought his return ticket. Normally, this shouldn’t concern me, but we even fought over it because I got anxious.
Of course, no one is obligated to ease my worries or satisfy my need for planning. And if I’m socializing, I’ll have to make some compromises as well.
I would normally suggest finding a middle ground, but based on my experience, I can confidently say that’s not possible. One of the parties has to step back.
And in this case, the measure of that is how much you value the other person and whether you want the friendship to continue.
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In the end, no matter how much you plan, someone or something will always mess it up.
I’d love to give a fresh example. I just turned on my laptop for a completely different task. Something that requires concentration and motivation… But as soon as I turned it on, my phone rang, and since the caller irritated me, my entire mood was ruined.
Of course, it wouldn’t be fair to say it’s the other person’s fault. The one who shouldn’t be affected is me.
So, I’ll either lock myself away in a house in the mountains, or I’ll develop methods to deal with such negativity.
- I could endure it.
- I could give up.
- I could shout.
- Or I could not care.
The best way to prevent gas spasms is this last one. Not caring. There’s no specific way to do it. You just do it. Or rather, you don’t. You don’t care.
Worth a try. Let’s see.
Because those neatly listed, standard coping mechanisms aren’t for me. In fact, I don’t think they work for anyone. Everyone should find their own way. That way, there’s more variety, and it lasts longer.
In summary:
Making plans is nice.
People are idiots.
Just kidding.
There’s no rule that everything will always happen as planned. Life is short. Sometimes, things just don’t happen.
What matters is you. Your well-being.
Be well.
