Talk to Yourself!
If you talk to yourself out loud people think you’re crazy. But talk to yourself on camera, you can be a YouTuber.
As children, we often use vocal self-talk to practice behaviors and express emotions. Later in life, this habit becomes internalized.
The more we grow up, the more the stigma of talking to ourselves grows. We fear being called “Crazy!”, or “Weirdo!” and even when we are alone, we feel something is unusual if we catch ourselves in a self-talk.
The truth we’re not aware of is that self-talk is not a sign of mental instability, it is a therapeutic tool that we all need to use. The inner dialogue or verbal expressions we have with ourselves whether internally or out loud could be used to our benefit.
Before we get to the benefits, there are three different kinds of self-talk:
1- Positive self-talk:
“I’ve got this!”, or “I’m capable of doing it!” are encouraging and affirming.
2- Negative self-talk:
“I’m such an idiot!”, “I’m not good enough.” or “I always mess things up”…etc are all discouraging and critical.
3- Instructional self-talk:
directing or guiding oneself such as saying “Remember the steps!” or “Focus on your breathing.”
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Now, since we can differentiate types of self-talk, we should first recognize which type we usually use. The tone and pattern are important to identify our self-talk nature, and if it’s serving or breaking us.
If your self-talk is mostly negative, you should know you are crashing your self-esteem and confidence. We are the ones who let ourselves down before people do. If you’re being hard on yourself only because you make mistakes often, you should give yourself space and time to learn from them and grow. In the end, you are a human being.
Here are some tips to help switch your inner dialogue to be more gentle:
- Track the triggers: Identify the situations or stressors that trigger the negative self-talk.
- Reframe thoughts: Instead of saying “I’m terrible at this!” use “I’m still learning, and I can improve.”
- Distanced self-talk: Talk to yourself in the third person to reduce harshness and create psychological distance. For example: “John, you did your best and that is enough.”
Positive and instructional self-talk is a tool that will serve you many benefits such as:
- Regulation: It’ll help you manage your emotions, behaviors, and stress in a better way.
- Planning: You’ll gain a sense of problem-solving and organizing.
- Increases focus and performance.
- … and many more.
Self-talk is a powerful tool that influences how we feel and perform. Managing it effectively can contribute to well-being and mindfulness.
Don’t hesitate to share your thoughts, experiences, or additional information.
M.
