Groups
I am a group facilitator. What a weird definition. Being in the position of the group facilitator means to have power, and yet, many times I felt powerless standing, or mainly sitting, in front of a group. Yes, I am controlling the ultimate power of time, and can start, shift and stop the group’s process at any given time, but that not always means I feel powerful in any other way.
Maybe the source for me feeling powerless as the group facilitator is simply because it is not power that I am seeking, but something else. But what is it? and does the fact that I feel comfortable being there means I receive what I am looking for (what?!) from the group?
I always felt better in groups than alone. Being alone doesn’t feel natural to me. I feel I need to make an effort to feel good when I am alone, but I don’t need to make any effort to feel at my best when I am in a group.
Do I feel like that in any group? No. What makes a group the right group for me so I am able to feel part and let go of my guardians and be myself? This questions feels a little too philosophic for me right now, so I will park it for a while.
What I really wanted to write about in my first post here is that I am starting a group facilitators course next week. It’s a year long program in Tel Aviv university. The decision to take this program came after two years of world pandemic, when I found myself lacking human interactions, and after 2.5 years being self employed, which resulted with me feeling out of a regular day to day social connection. Although I live with my partner, I have friends and supporting family, I feel alone and I am looking for ways to regroup.
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As I stated in the first sentence, I am a group facilitator. I am quite professional one, I love doing it, I love leading a group through a process, seeing the people in the group before and after, feeling my own process as a facilitator, moving from being an outsider and being part, sometimes a key person, in the group. So why do I need to study group facilitation?
My answer has several layers. The first is, as you might already understand, to gain once again the sense of belonging. To be part of a working group, who is going through a process and have a shared purpose.
The second layer is that I feel I have much more to learn. I guess this is not unique, people always feel they have a lot to learn, if they are honest with themselves. I always feel I need to learn more. I need more tools, and mainly I need to deepen my understanding about people and the human nature. I need to understand more about the psychological sides of being part of a group. I want to feel more secure to push the boundaries of the groups I facilitate and allow more shades and colors in.
And above all, I want to experience it in a visceral way, not only cognitively. I want to get familiar with what participants in my groups are going through, the feelings, the stress, the success and the disappointments.
I am lucky to had a similar experience before. I have being part of wonderful learning group that created exactly these atmosphere. I gained valuable friendships from being part. That group still runs, due in a much lower capacity and intensity.
I have decided to document my group facilitation learning and insights because I would like to see if there is a bigger thing I can learn from this experience, that will tell me more about the potential place of groups in our world. I am not going to limit my writing here only to my experience in the program, but I will bring voices from the groups I facilitate as part of my work, my volunteer work and other groups I am part of, formal and informal. I will collect different group’s experiences, and hope that at the end of this year I will be able to illustrate a clearer picture of how does a group process looks like, and what value it can bring to individuals, society and the world.
Sounds big. But I mean it. I believe people are seeking ways to feel part and feel belong. I believe people, when giving opportunity, can work together and support each other, and that being alone is not a natural state for anyone. This is my big assumption, and with that I am starting my exploration.
If you are curious about groups as I am, join me. If you have contributions that you think can enrich my understanding about groups, please share. I would love to learn about others’ experience in groups. Maybe a supportive/working group can emerge here as well. Who knows.
