Teenage Fondling
We all remember our first sexual(s) experience with a sheer amount of cringe.
The names remembered clearly, but the people themselves a very distant memory.
We all remember the first time we ‘felt a little bit different/tingly’,
Mine was shamefully from the music video; ‘Butterfly’ by Crazy town.
No it wasn’t the tribal tattoos, eyebrow piercings, pineapple tipped hair and copious amounts of baby oil.
Well I hope it wasn’t and it was just being mesmerised by watching two people kiss on a big screen.
Even though I was a late bloomer at an all girls school, I befriended anyone who was sexually active before me. I was completely fascinated by every detail.
I remember one of my friends even showing a group of us circling her, how to give head with her water bottle, a circle of brace faced, bad browed, comb over/fringed teenagers absolutely enthralled, taking mental notes regardless of how awkward it seemed.
Being at an all girls school meant you were either able to communicate with boys or you weren’t at all.
Lots of it was mastering the arts of texting under the ridge of a school desk and planning the next meet up at the park with everyone, round the corner, after school.
But if you were too shy, after texting the boy you fancied all day, you would maybe smile at them on the walk home. The whole walk building up to this extremely short interaction.
Truthfully, I just enjoyed talking to boys as I felt more understood. I mostly spoke to boys much older than me, guys my age all seemed so much younger and the thought of anything sexual with them actually made me laugh.
But with kisses filled with bashed braises and really wet tongue, I took one for the team.
I say that, it started with truth or dare. Whilst you’d pull your friend aside and make sure they dare you to kiss the person you fancy.
Get Millicent J Gorringe’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
You’d hear stories about friends’ performing foreplay in the back of cinemas, park benches, house parties, toilets, changing rooms, a frenzy of opportunity landmarks hidden from families.
Most of us recall vigorous dry humping days and the confusion of finding the rub of denim seams satisfying or uncomfortable.
Whilst you have a teenage boy grasping onto your breasts as if he’s performing a breast examination.
Doing as Jimmy Carr would word it ‘turning on the taps and checking the water’.
He’ll then finger you, but even in that circumstance it’s as if he’s searching the pits of your vaginal canal for loose change (the clitorus is yet to be properly discovered at this stage).
You pretend you’re really enjoying it, as you don’t quite know how to even touch yourself yet.
Where he’s concerned cum starts to become a sort of, inconvenience.
As all of this fondling is top secret and their can’t be a trace left behind. But the bedroom surrounded by posters and random shit, stinks of smeg. Maybe a heavy spray of Lynx Africa will suffice and his parents won’t notice?
Whilst the background plays out the sounds of some trash film on loud.
Finally, you get to go to school and tell your friends you’ve done something too and you’re part of some weird cult of the girls who know ‘everything’ about sex and other stuff. Still confused as to what the fuss is even all about.
The first time I had sex I ran to my friend Samantha’s house, I was in college.
It felt like I had it written all over my forehead and I looked different immediately.
Around this time I worked as a waitress in a fine dining restaurant and all I remembered was trying to relate to the flocks of middle aged women saying the chocolate fondant dessert we served was almost as good as sex.
To me, it lasted two minutes out of discomfort, so we watched Come Dine With Me and drank hot chocolates like nothing happened… I realised I would rather just eat the chocolate fondant then have sex again.
Of course, it’s like riding a bike and eventually all this enjoyment and talk of sex and the ‘other things’ eventually clicks. But the cluelessness of first experiences will always remain the funniest.
