Mary, Mary Quite Contrary
A short-short story after The Adventures of Walter Mitty
Hi, I’m Mary, a barista at Sufficient Grounds, the coffee shop next to the courthouse.
We open at 7 AM. This morning, after having put up the drip, put out the half-and-half and oat milk, put down the chairs from the tables and so on, before the morning madness, I got to do my favorite thing: let my mind wander.
What if I weren’t a barista? What if I were an executive at Planned Parenthood. I’d prance in at 10 in my Dior suit — the magenta one today. My assistant would politely hand me my schedule and ask if I’d like a cappuccino. Yes, thank you, low-fat milk, one sugar. When I entered the conference room, everyone would stand until I sat down. They’d hang on my every word.
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At the end of the day, I’d tell my assistant that I’m off to Cannes for the film festival and left a list of tasks she’ll need to do and delegate. “Yes, Ms. Michaels.”
In Cannes, I’d meet a director of one of the Palme ‘d Or-nominated films and he’d wine and dine me, stroll along the beach, and bask in nights of paradise.
I return to learn that I’ve been named one of America’s Top 10 Executives. I give a gracious but humorous talk at the dinner, get a standing ovation, and leave with three amazing job offers.
“Hey, Mary, can I get some service here?! Gimme an oat milk, honey-lavender cappuccino, low-fat milk plus a shot of espresso. Got that?”
“I think so.”
I read this aloud on YouTube
Marty Nemko is a career and personal coach, and author of 34 books including , as of June 28, 2024, Unreal: short-short stories of fantasy, sci-fi, and horror. You can reach Marty at mnemko@comcast.net
