Monumental?
A short-short story
Big deal, so Perpetual Monuments is having a 50%-off sale on pre-need gravestones. Not only is the need probably years away, it’s depressing.
Yet, here we are, a half dozen people waiting in line for our turn. I was second in line and the clerk asked the guy in front of me, “Would you like an epitaph?” He said, “Home Alone.” I couldn’t resist asking him why. He said, “I’ve always been best off alone.”
I asked the clerk if she wouldn’t mind waiting a moment.
I asked him, “Why are you best off alone?”
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“People don’t like me and I don’t like people — Most people are stupid, phony, or hypocritical.
Isn’t there at least one person you like?
Yeah but we get tired of each other pretty quickly.
As he started to walk away and the clerk called me to the desk, I said to him, “You know, I’m going to make my epitaph, 'It takes a village.’”
He waited for me to pay, and as I walked away, he said, “Be honest: How often has “the village” helped you? How often have you helped the village? For example, how many illegals have you taken into your home? And, you’re saving 50% on your tombstone. How about giving it to the homeless guy lying in that doorway?”
I said, “Thank you” and crept away.
I read this aloud on YouTube.
Dr. Marty Nemko tries to not be hypocritical as a person, career counselor, or in his 35 books, including A Dose of Reality. You can reach him at mnemko@gmail.com
