Suspended!
A short-short story
I love it! I got suspended for calling my teacher an idiot. She is an idiot and so is most of the crap they teach in high school. Not only did I give her what she deserved but no one but me has the guts to say it, I got rewarded for it! Suspended for a day — a free day to do what I want and not have to listen to Peloponnesian Wars, the evils of capitalism, quadratic equations, stochastic processes, and the imperfect tense.
My parents kinda agree with me, so they let me stay home alone while they’re at work. Yeah!:
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First, I got my girlfriend to cut. We hung out, if you know what I mean, and then had lunch that the school says is junk: pizza and Diet Coke!
Then, I wanted to go on a kinda dangerous bike ride: on a busy bridge. She didn’t, so we said good-bye.
When I got back, I still had a couple hours until my parents came home. I played Grand Theft Auto, which my parents won’t allow. When I pulled off a silent and sneaky heist, I yelled, “Fuck yeah!” My parents don’t like when I curse. Then I snooped in my parents’ bedroom drawer. Ooh, a 3" trampoline in a pink plastic case on her nightstand. I wonder what that is?
When my parents came home, I giggled, “The suspension provided an opportunity to study for my algebra midterm.” They rolled their eyes.
I read this aloud on YouTube.
Marty Nemko wouldn’t have minded a few at-home suspensions. He’s a career and personal coach and author of 36 books including Starting-Out Stories. You can reach him at mnemko@gmail.com
