The Machine Salesman
A fictional short-short story
When I started selling industrial equipment, it was straightforward — You either needed it or didn’t, and did you want to go basic or deluxe? Now, there’s a complicating factor: buy American or Chinese?
This example made me laugh but then sad.
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On days when rain or snow is possible, newspapers have long had their delivery drivers wrap the newspapers in plastic film bags.
But we now sell a machine that does it cheaper and faster. Newspapers, especially, like the big liberal one I’m going to tell you about, print articles in favor for labor and decrying automation but, as you’re going to see, as soon as they can save a few pennies, they automate, and on the backs of the people they supposedly care most about: “the least among us.” In this case, it was even worse. The decisionmaker at this newspaper asked me, “Will your machine take the opaque plastic? We don’t want people to get free looks. We want them to subscribe.” Not only was he being cheap, the opaque plastic is 13 mil, four TIMES as thick as translucent bags — bad for the environment, while the newspaper’s articles flog us to be more environmental. Worst of all, I had to tell him that the American machine costs 40% more than the Chinese one. He asked, “Is the quality better? Does it last longer?” I gave the honest answer: “No. Quality and longevity are about equal. The difference: American labor costs 300% more, when you count salary, benefits, rights to sue, etc. Guess what? That newspaper, which lambasts everything China, including big stories when a Chinese product doesn’t work well — bought the Chinese machine. The punchline? I’ve now sold 11 of those machines — It’s my hottest seller, and nine of the 11 newspapers chose the Chinese one.
It seems that the fatter the cats, the more likely they are to be hypocrites. I thought not just of newspaper publishers and owners like Jeff Bezos, but Silicon Valley execs, California politicians, and Hollywood actors and singers screaming for “equity” while I haven’t heard of one who invited even one illegal immigrant or homeless person to live in their mansions — They have plenty of room. And Greenies like Al Gore and Bernie Sanders say the environmental sky is falling as they fly in their private jets. And Sanders is an avowed socialist but is worth $3 million dollars. Why hasn’t he redistributed most of that to his “beloved” poor? And on Fox News Sunday last week, Bret Baier asked Sanders why, he, a socialist, flies on private jets. Sanders dared admit, “You think I’m going to be sitting on a waiting line at United, waiting while 30,000 people are waiting?”
Who can you trust?
I read this aloud on YouTube.
Marty Nemko is a career and personal coach, and author of 35 books including A Dose of Reality. You can reach him at mnemko@gmail.com
