The Audiometry Test I Failed
“Headless chicken declared fit for sea service.”
Ring. Tring. Boop. Beep.
Let’s go. Proceed to ship.
As a seafarer, I cannot count how many audiometry tests I have taken. And despite being forced to convert to an audiophile, I failed to listen to the most important sounds that were meant for me.
As an engineer who worked 0000–0400 shifts, when there are just 4 people awake on the whole ship, I had developed the knack of listening to even the faintest sounds and the slightest change in pitch and frequency.
Eventually, I could hear a pin drop when the pin did not even exist.
If you did not get that joke, you are lucky.
And if you did, share with me what loud environments you have worked in with constant exposure to high noise levels.
I happen to be one of those people who quote a lot of things, because in my head that’s what I want to implement in my own life. Some I have, most I could not, and none of that stops me from writing wise words anyway.
Give me the benefit of the doubt, and just say I have not been able to implement them fully, yet.
We have been trained too hard to think too hard, while it stands true that the mind’s primal biological wiring is only to scan threats and dangers to ensure our survival.
It has no foresight to make any future decisions, no capability to know the path we should travel.
But, isn’t that what we rely on mostly?
“Let me think this through.”
“Let us brainstorm through this.”
“Let me consult Mr. Einstein!”
Everything points to aggressive use of our brains in all our difficult situations.
But after the storm, when panic subsides and we stop running around like a headless chicken, we realize there was never any need for a map.
The mind only makes decisions based on the inputs it has. The mind’s vigilance for safety and survival has zero usefulness in making long-term decisions, that bring joy and happiness.
The body knows where it wants to go, and so does nature. It’s just us who are not able to tune in and follow our inner compass, and the error slowly keeps increasing, till the deviation is large enough to warrant a full recalibration.
Positive response to any stimulus comes with pleasant sensations and deep breaths, while a negative response from the body feels like draining energy, a “no” sound in the gut, or even knots in the stomach or chest pain.
If you dread going back to the office on Monday, you can feel that emotion in your body. It’s a simple example; you do not want to be there, for whatever reasons.
Real example from my life:
Dark cold room.
Deep sleep.
Body is relaxed.
Phone rings.
“Hi, would you be available to join as 2nd Engineer from Port ‘Never Come Here’ 3 days from now?”
My body suddenly feels tight and heavy.
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And I feel my shoulders getting tense and my jaw clenching.
That’s a clear no.
‘Should I go back to ship?’ is the question I ask myself, while my mind is already counting dollars and proceeds to ask the offered salary before I even realize it.
“XXXX USD per month.”
‘I am not available at this time.’
But the salary was great.
Somehow, this particular time, I was able to tune in and listen.
On the other hand, ease, openness, and energy mean “yes.”
Real example from my life:
Should I read and write 24/7, and maybe publish a book and earn royalties for the rest of my life, while I sleep 10 hours every day? Should I enrol in a research program?
Energy rises. Breath expands.
And that’s a yes.
Even if the decision may or may not be practical.
It’s not always easy to know what we want. But it’s simple to know what we do not.
Keep eliminating that, and life slowly keeps getting better.
The mind will try to pull us back into familiar safety. But if we ignore the body’s knowing, the universe itself will slowly conspire to push us off the wrong track. And it won’t stop until we recalibrate. You can call it intuition, gut feeling, sixth sense, or whatever.
I just call it the inner truth.
Nature tries to correct the course and force alignment, and every time we ignore that, the resistance increases. We may eventually get a hard slap, that forces a major course correction in life. It could be a layoff, a health scare, a breakup or even loss of a loved one. But rest assured, recalibration will be forced.
The good news is that it was just a slap. It was not the ship colliding with an iceberg or beaching onto the rocks.
Working as an engineer on ships, spending a decade sailing and facing some of the hardest challenges that life had to offer, my body got attuned to so many frequencies and sounds, and yet I failed the audiometry test a thousand times.
May this article offer you the wisdom to learn to listen to your own frequency, and accept without resistance, where your inner compass points.
Cheers!
For more reflections like this, you can find my writing on Substack at @mokshmd.
