Sitemap
Mónica Zendejas

Mónica Zendejas

2 min readFeb 11, 2025

--

“¿Why is a narcissist’s love so powerfully addictive?”

Press enter or click to view image in full size
Photo by darkzo on Unsplash

The narcissist’s love is powerfully addictive, because sometimes he is kind and loving, to overcome you the next day with his disinterest (contempt). This is called intermittent booster. You become addicted to their highs.

Intermittent reward has been shown to be the most powerfully addictive form of reward. A scientific study took a group of rats. Divided into three groups. Giving everyone a button to press.

In the first group, every time a rat presses the button, it receives food. In the second group, pressing the button does nothing. In the third group, when pressing the button, sometimes the rat gets food, other times it doesn’t.

Guess which group becomes completely addicted to pressing the button? That’s right, the “sometimes” group Being in a relationship with a narcissist is powerfully addictive because he responds favorably only sometimes, while other times he ignores you, or may even be actively trying to hurt you. a process similar to breaking an addiction.

Uncertainty taps into something primal in the brain and primes your neurochemistry for obsession.

Get Mónica Zendejas’s stories in your inbox

Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.

This in turn develops and has an impact on the Learned Helplessness syndrome, it becomes present, when there is a history of narcissistic mother and/or father!!

That is, you don’t defend yourself, because no matter how many times you try, you never manage to win anything, and you give up.

My advice is to LEAVE, and obviously you are going to go through the withdrawal syndrome, like when you try to quit a drug or alcohol, it will hurt, you will feel fear, you will feel anxiety, despair, you will want to return, but it is about enduring ONLY ONE DAY and so on every day.

It takes a LOT of work, but someone tells you that I manage to get out of there after 7 years of relationship. YOU JUST HAVE TO HOLD ON, UNTIL ONE DAY IT STARTS TO BE SOFT AND GOOD AND YOU DON’T FEEL THE NEED TO KNOW ABOUT IT ANYMORE.

And over time there is not only no need, there is contempt, then disgust and then there is NOTHING.

YES YOU CAN!

But you have to make the decision.

LOVE YOURSELF MORE THAN YOU LOVE HIM OR HER!

--

--