Write This Down Quick
Be ready for the strange twists of Gramma’s brain
Photo courtesy Unsplash
“To get there you have to go the wrong way,” she babbled one afternoon as we started out for a doctors appointment. Oddly enough it had basically become a way of life for every car adventure in my life. We jokingly say that you haven’t been on a road trip thoroughly, until you’ve gone into an industrial area, by way of looking for a specific destination point, at least once. How gramma came up with the family mantra is intriguing as she did not drive. Well legally. Then it was only during WWII when gramps was over there and there was a necessity for the young family of two young children. She detested it but, “for the children.” Once gramps was home never again was she behind the ominous steering wheel.
While the driving quit the phrases kept coming. Like, “She went home by transportation.” Ahem, er, and huh? What am I supposed to do with this gem - “I stood out like nobody.” I thought maybe I should put on a counselor hat but when phrases like - “He’s been my father all my life,” flew out you realize that, no, let her be. You sit back and chuckle. It’s cute, “She looked like a pretty girl,” combined closely with “He stood on the corner and he wasn’t there; he was an obsolete man,” leave one right on the cusp of understanding her and then you start asking yourself if you should because her mind pulls out a, “It’s open at the neckline.” See? It makes sense but you feel bad for laughing at her from the other side of your face. Hahaha, old people. What joy they bring us. Yep.
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“I’ll have to stop and think what I’m doing here,” she quipped as she stood in the dining room with a pair of scissors in one hand. We’ve all been there. She follows it with, “Keep wondering until we find out.” Of course the next day when this happened the following phrase was, “Don’t think about it ‘til you think about it.” It tugged at my heart when I heard, “I don’t remember, I must have forgot.” Of course I also tittered, and again when, “I think I forgot” cuz there’s nothing like obvious statements that crack me up. Such as, “Here the birds come to fly.” “I think suppertime is a good time for suppertime.” Right?! How can you not just laugh?
“I don’t hear everything I hear” I swear! She said it. “Haven’t heard any footsteps - somebody must be coming.” Then I’m guessing I was supposed to fix something when she asked me, “Here, push on my ear until you feel it hurt.” Followed by, “I can feel this bump. It’s not there.” Always helpful when contemplating a physician appointment. She added, “I think I have a cold and don’t know it.” What to say to the appointment desk.
{this is the absolute worst and wrong place for a parentheses remark but phooey; thank you for enduring ALL these “”s; as by all accounts there are way too many but it just needed to be said with them.} Now in concluding thoughts of grams, let us leave off with - “If we take off before we leave,” and I, like you, also awaited for the rest of that thought but she was through with it and decided that, “We all come from someplace.” I applaud or laugh or roll my eyes, whichever needs the exercise. Her crown and glory for me is -
“If you can be cheerful in your head, you can be anywhere else.”
Love you grams. Thank you for the brain teasers and chuckles.
In Memoriam JLV 1915~2012
