Man of the house: Growing up the only boy
Growing up the only boy amongst female siblings was fun and terrifying at times. One moment, these ladies are treating you like a king-feeding you, washing your clothes-good nannies, the next, they are Agojie, coming after your life just because of a little blunder.
I have three sisters. Two in front and one behind. Well, it would’ve been two behind, but the fourth little "bastard" probably didn’t want anything to do with my "fooling" abilities so she decided to come out premature and later die in an incubator. Keep resting well my baby. I got into several scuffles with my sisters. Whenever I had a misunderstanding with either of my two big sisters and a fight broke, which I’m always at the receiving end of knocks, I cried a little and went for a timely revenge. Let me add, I don’t seek immediate gratification in my revenge.
Get Edudzi Akadzro’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
Days will pass, likewise nights, the tension of previous times will be of the pass. Everything is fine amongst the siblings, I ran errands for them, I get goodies on my return. I do a lot of funny things, they find it hilarious, they laugh. We cool. Then boom, at moments we all least expected, one of my booby traps will go haywire. I’ll be sitting watching some cartoons and I’ll see a sister angrily approaching with a dress in hand. Just like any good artist, I can identify my works from a distance. In my head, I’ll scream, "oh shit, not now" before taking flight and actually screaming, "mama yee" as I ran helter-skelter to my mother (my mother and not our mother because at this point, she’s got to save her only boy from a monster) before I get devoured. When I finally find refuge behind her back, I start giving attitude that implied, "now you bomboclat, come beat me."
My Silent Revenge
After shamelessly losing a fight, I usually wait for the winner to go out and I attack. I go to her bag, with a blade or scissors in hand. I search for one of her dresses she hasn't worn quiet recently and I redesign it. I later give it a befitting burial, deep down the bag after which I take a sigh of relief.
