Where Is Robert Benchley, Now That I Need a Good Laugh?
That early 20th Century humorist’s view of the world still rings true…
Upon watching the local news, I become depressed and switch to the national scene- the results similar to ingesting a castor oil chaser after a hearty round of Ex-Lax.
Now ready to jump out of a window- until the wife reminds me that we live in a one-story house- I seek relief elsewhere. And where do I always find it? With that man from the past who never lets me down: Robert Benchley!
I begin with Benchley’s views on political parties, from a 1928 article by the same name:
The above analysis being all I need (or want) to know about our two-party system, I move on to RB’s consummate translation skills in “French for Americans”…
Then it’s on to an excerpt from “Evolution Highlights”:
“Thus we learn that our present-day sheep, from whose warm blanket our silk socks are made, was once, in the early days of the earth, a member of the hermit-crab family. It was during the Paleozoic Age, before the great glaciers had swept down over the land leaving their trail of empty tins and old shoes, even before the waters had receded from the earth. So, you can see how long ago it was! Just years and years.”
From “How I Create” comes this valuable insight:
“Sometimes, while in the throes of creative work, I get out of bed in the morning, look at my writing desk piled high with old bills, odd gloves, and empty ginger ale bottles, and go right back to bed again. The next thing I know, it is night once more and time for the Sand Man to come around. (We have a Sand Man who comes twice a day, which makes it very convenient.)”
While there are plenty of present-day humorists whose work I could feast upon, there’s something special about opening an old book- the kind from the 1920’s, where age has not only yellowed its pages, but calcified them to the point that dog-earing causes an affected page corner to lose the will to live as it falls off and flutters to the floor, accompanied by the screams of librarians everywhere.
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My collection of Robert Benchley’s work is now up to fifteen books. “Pluck and Luck,” from 1925, heads the list, with a Benchley Annotated Bibliography (from 1995) rounding things out. Though there are twenty-three of Benchley’s books kicking around this world of ours, repetition among the various editions guarantees that I have most of the humorist’s best stuff.
But enough about that. Let’s see what Benchley has to say about his reporter days at the old Waldorf Hotel…
“In passing by the old Waldorf the other day (or, to be exact, just as they were beginning to tear it down) I realized, with a catch in my throat that some of the dullest hours of my life had been spent within its crumbling walls…
“The Grand Ballroom of the Waldorf! What a flood of tiresome memories come tumbling to mind at the thought of that long speakers’ table and the deadly hooey that had been delivered across its parapet! For six solid months… I was forced nightly to attend banquets there, writhing with my colleagues at the little table down at the left; sleeping sometimes with my little head pillowed in my arms, sometimes supported by a numbing elbow…”
Oh, to be able to write like that now- one moment the picture of eloquence, the next, jesting like Groucho. And that’s the thing that makes Benchley special, after all these years: his ability to stay low to the ground- that even though he may have had a deep understanding of the subject matter, he just couldn’t help himself.
It was time to puncture the balloon.
Slide a whoopee cushion under Grandma’s seat.
Chuck a coconut cream pie at that dignified gentleman in the tuxedo.
Witness Professor Benchley trying, in a fatherly way, to deliver a graduation address to a group of young men- on the delicate subject of Sex:
Maybe this is why I love Benchley’s work so much; he’d rather entertain than teach, poking fun at things worth poking fun at.
I end this piece with words of inspiration from Robert B…
As you grow, from day to day, you can say to yourself… Today I will develop. I will grow bigger, either mentally, morally, or physically. Maybe, if it is a nice warm day, I will grow in all three ways at once.
And sure enough, when evening finds you returning home from the work of the day, it will also find you in some way changed from the person you were in the morning, either through the shedding of the dry epidermis from the backs of your hands- which, according to one of Nature’s most wonderful processes, is replaced by new epidermis as soon as the old one is gone…
Like to find out where to get your hands on some vintage Benchley? Check out this article on Robert B’s prodigious output.
