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Quick Flow
This is another work story from my days as a paramedic in Brooklyn.
The marketing people who come up with names for pre-colonoscopy prep medications probably think they’re a funny group of creative geniuses. The products all seem to have names like “Quick and Clear”, “Flow Freely”, and “Coming Through”. Marketing aside, I would hope that these names could probably help the user mentally prepare for what is to come. But sadly, this is not always the case.
While nothing surprises me anymore, some of the reasons why people call 911 will continue to make me question Man’s place in the evolutionary hierarchy. I am in awe of how many times in my career that I’ve transported people to busy emergency rooms simply because a product worked as intended.
When we reached the home of one such person, we didn’t know he was doing his pre-colonoscopy cleanse. His wife let us in and explained that the patient was in the bathroom and had been there all day. She assured us, however, that he’d be out in a minute.
That minute turned into many minutes. When he finally did come out he had a face that looked like agony. Never, he told us, had he ever experienced bowel issues the way he had them now.
We did a routine exam that included his vital signs (within normal limits) and interviewed him about his complaint.
