Ramblings
Here is tough to get through. I don’t have a paid account, so I can’t read most of the articles they push towards me. It includes those I get to view from my e-mail.
After being here for a while, I guess every platform has it way to get some attention. I also don’t give attention. So it is how it works. If I don’t give in, people won’t give out. I’m used to that. And since I don’t want to invest more than this, I can see it’s my bad end here. I’m exactly the tree that falls down and no one here get to know about it.
Maybe I’m just a plus one. A data to give AI; one more possibility to track; what’s considered not relevant. I’m unable to start a important conversation because I write for myself and people may think I’m a lost child and other many things I don’t want to know about. Do I? Well I guess feedback it is what matters and I don’t get any, besides a white wall.
In LinkedIn, I’m almost the same. But there, I have people added, so I have been receiving a like or two eventually. I post 5 days a week and the response it’s obvious: a hundred of views, but no comment. I believe I’m not naturally good to move the audience’s heart. After a month doing it, I ask myself things. Am I choosing the wrong places to post?
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Recently, I discovered through an anime site, a place for writers or aspiring to be one. There are competitions to publish great light novels. Prize is money. They reward the winners with 3 or 4 thousands of dollars. Maybe I should try writing more fictions instead of my perceptions. Like me, I can see many people giving reviews, talking about their lifes and sharing their experiences, thus I encounter a lot of competition. By the way, the site is Honeyfeed.
I’m still new there. I can see amateurs and people that have experience. So many titles to read. I want to try something and post there. But then, I need to improve my English too. I’m not used to write fiction like this. The language is a bit of a barrier. But I don’t have a strategy for gaining some more attention. The only way is to keep writing.
I would love to receive some help but I suck to ask for help. I’m stupid to put my fear in a very visible place. I see it every time. I really wish to have a team to be. I want to exchange tips with teammates. But I don’t have the guts to invite people. To start my own thing, I need to leave some parts of myself I hold on.
“Invite people. Go outside. Go to events. Talk to random people.” I know many ways but I don’t do them. I always had me calling myself timid and reserved and I avoid to break this stereotype from me. Why? Sometimes my sabotage is just there. It’s like I’m afaraid to change. I’m afraid to advance. I don’t know. I accept I don’t know and stay. I know, such a pathetic way of living. I’m sorry to be like that.
My way of talking to me is kind of toxic. But, instead of trying to develop this idea even further, I will say one thing: even with all those things, failing and being invisible as a creator, I still feel I have grown up. Comparing to last year, I like today’s me.
With that, I say: let’s keep writing, folks.
