Starting a Journey.
I have now lived in London for 1 year. In this time, I have graduated with an MA from Central Saint Martins, found a house that feels like home and confronted some of my personal challenges. After a long time, I feel some promise for my life ahead. The people of london always smile at me and make me feel comfortable. I too have become that person who gives up their seat on the tube and helps people who are handling luggage alone.
Get Neelabh Kumar’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
Over the years past, I had built up anger and despair. It is difficult for me even now. I wake up in the morning and my mind echos with negative patterns from the past. Sometimes it is enough to keep me in bed till late afternoon. My lifelong struggle with anxiety and depression, is something I am beginning to truly comprehend now. Now that the cause seems solely internal, I can see how difficult it can be. So I have made a promise, when I can, I will be gentle on myself.
My MA experience at CSM was the first step towards realising a new life. I found the university to be incredibly understanding, the structure built around support for creatives minds. I applied to UAL because I had read they had a hands off approach to education, yet they were second to none. Getting in was a moment of joy and while not “easy”, the journey through it all was illuminating. I learnt an approach to education and practice that is gentle yet comprehensive. I learnt the importance of ethics and perhaps most important of all, the value of the journey over the finished product.
I see the rest of my life now, as a journey. A journey that isn’t about presenting polished objects of desire, but a journey of being and becoming. With some intention of the same, I have decided to take up blogging. I don’t come from a family of creatives, so I do not have resources and knowledge available to me straight away. My work, my knowledge and my experiences have been built up from nothing. I see my past now as a foundation to build upon. So far in my life, I have approached this process with brute force and cold realism. I hope to now (as they say metaphorically) cultivate a garden rather than build a tower. That is possibly the real me.
I hope if anyone reads this, they feel welcome to come along this journey with me. It’s always nice to have people who root for you, or even those who simply like to look at the things you make. If so, I’d like to thank those people in advance. An artist, after all does not exist in isolation.
