Account Suspended!!!
Yes, I too am horrified by the lack of an apostrophe. Mind you the spelling is bad enough.
I’ve no idea if these ramblings will ever see the light of day because the gods at Medium (sometime in the afternoon (CET) of the 24th July 2026) put me on the naughty step. No idea why, but there we are…
…guilty until Medium says otherwise.
Given that I’m absolutely baffled as to what I have done to merit exile, I can only presume the reason is one of the following….
The incompetent (and probably incontinent) code monkeys that Medium uses have stuffed the site again and everyone has been suspended because someone got their 0 and 1 the wrong way round or mixed 2 boolean columns up or the ETL went gaga. Given that the home page after login currently looks like the below, I’d say that’s a fair possibility.
Mind you, maybe it’s a new minimalist UX design style. Who knows?
Or it could be one of the monkeys is still pissed at me and booleaned my ass after I called out the last time they stuffed the site.
All I know is I’ve still get this in the kisser after I login…
So as it tells me to learn more about my current state of purgatory, I thought I’d have a look to see where I’ve been bad.
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Seemingly Spam is the biggie which is why I thought of Monty Python and then thought of the prisoner in Life of Brian.
So let me think if I’ve been Spamming…
- Posting content primarily to drive traffic to, or increase the search rankings of, an external site, product, or service;
Well sometimes I use Google to spell check stuff. Maybe that’s it.
- Affiliate marketing in the guise of reviews of products or services, product testing (does it work?), etc., whether generated via AI or manually written;
I’ve written a couple of reviews (ages ago), but I always make it clear that I’d paid for the stuff with my own cash and have no connection with anyone, so it can’t be that.
- Using deception to generate revenue or traffic
What like… read on to see a picture of my giant, hard cock? Nope.
- Abusing our Medium Partner Program
Never touched her.
- Advertising or participating in bounty campaigns, pump and dumps, reviewing for reward, or other forms of brigading or inauthentic activity.
I bought a Bounty bar at the petrol station last week. Medium surveillance must be really good. It was tasty though.
- Advertising or promoting airdrops or related activities unless you are an authorized representative of the project. You must have an email address on the domain of that project.
No idea what any of the above even means.
Accounts and posts violating this policy will be considered spam under Medium’s rules, and will be suspended without notice.
Yup, “suspended without notice”. That’s me, I’m guilty.
Then the list witters on about cryptocurrency and web 3 stuff which mean nothing to me. Then it bangs on about the DSA in the EU, but I’d seemingly be notified about that before I’m up for castration.
Then it tells me that all suspension reviews are by humans, so judging by the hedonistic lifestyles of the Medium rich and shameless, that’ll be sometime in 2035 then.
And another thing…the public flogging with no trial, aka this…
I got nuked late on a Friday afternoon (CET) and obviously no one at Medium works the weekend, so I’ve been humiliated publicly, internet wide, all weekend. I’m now a “con man” in the eyes of the internet. If my mum saw the above, she’d have kittens. A simple “content not available” would be better than using the words “investigation” and “violation” because those two words make me sound like a kiddie fiddler.
And still I have no idea what I’ve done.
In the meantime… bye or not.
PS…. I’m back! I was incorrectly “filtered” seemingly.
