Depression
A dull way of being.
Sometimes I cannot quite explain the emotion or put into words what I am feeling. I just know that it feels like it will never end. It does not always feel temporary.
Sometimes I can pull myself out of it. Other times, I feel like I am drowning in it.
I try different coping mechanisms, but when nothing seems to work, I self-destruct.
I have never really understood why. I just know that I will try almost anything to escape the feeling, even if only for a little while.
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Substances seem to make it disappear temporarily.
But the next day, it comes back tenfold.
Leaving me feeling emptier, heavier, and sadder than I was before.
So today, I listen to Brand New, allowing myself to fall a little deeper into the melancholy.
Sometimes I wish I could escape the intensity of my own emotions. To just exist without feeling everything so deeply.
Mental health is real.
And when it is struggling, when something within you is not well, it can affect every part of your life.
I think one of the hardest parts is knowing you want to feel better, but not always knowing how to get there.
