Your words can change your mind.

Feeling lazy? How you talk to yourself can change the way you think about hard tasks.

More than 20 years ago, Dave Ellis wrote a little book (out of print now) called “Falling Awake.” The most powerful revelation in that book for me as a coach is how the levels of language (what Ellis calls the ladder of language) can impact how we think about a situation.

Ellis (2002) asks his readers to experiment with their language: Listen for obligation in your language. This morning, I told my husband, “I have to be at work early today.” Yesterday I said, “I should go to exercise class today.” How did I feel when I said this? Heavy and not too excited. I even felt a bit defiant and resistant. (As a matter of fact I skipped exercise class, but I did make it to work early!)

Using the language of obligation is how we give our power and agency away. It indicates that we have no choice and that external forces control or guilt us into actions. It is very un-motivating. Changing the language we use can increase our excitement and commitment. Consider pushing yourself to go as high as you can up the ladder of language. Perhaps that means using the language of possibility: “I could go to exercise class tonight” or the language of preference “I want to go to work early tomorrow.” The higher levels on the language ladder Ellis describes are:

• Passion: “I’m eager to get to work early tomorrow.”
• Plan: “I plan to get to work early tomorrow”
• Promise: “I will go to work early…