Why Do We Trip?
JUL 06, 2026
I feel like it stems from a fear of thinking we could’ve done more (in some realm), or it’s a confirmation that’s the case. I think it’s a healthy thing when we use it as a check-in (a time to reflect and improve life going forward). It’s not healthy when shame is always involved. Look for things to learn rather than berating yourself for the decisions you made. Have compassion & try to understand it, so you can approach it better going forward. When we allow it to turn into rumination and the loops begin to repeat, we should pry if there’s anything actionable that feels right to do. If not, we have to know it’s best to let it go. Leave it in the past & revert your attention back to managing life coming at you in real-time. Otherwise, if we stay in that state too long, we’ll be ruminating about how long we ruminated (& the things we missed out on in the meantime).
People can put insane amounts of time and effort into something, expending all their available energy each day, but it means nothing if we’re not integrated well (within and with others). Neglecting one aspect of your health for focus on another is a short-term approach, but ideally, we want a balanced, holistic lifestyle. Yes, lonely times naturally occur, but pitting yourself against the world is never the answer long-term. It leads to bouts of victim mentality that only keep you in the same place. You may advance in one area to the equal deficit in another, netting you zero gain overall. You’re running on a treadmill.
I used to panic when I would wake up at a friend’s house (or them at mine), & I knew I fell asleep first. I would fall asleep from exhaustion from having fun, and then I would feel like I missed out. I remember apologizing a bunch if they were up (or when they woke). I was worried about my friends not thinking I enjoyed being with them enough to stay up later. I was worried they wouldn’t invite me back. It’s sad to remember these feelings, but this is where the compassion comes into play. It reminds me why I need to take care of myself now because I know better than me then. The sensation still happens quite often where I’ll wake suddenly with a lot of anxiety. It helps to know what it is, but when we don’t, it can feel like life or death.
I think it was originally a flood of these feelings to alert us when we didn’t have shelter to check our surroundings, and then it adapted to be something that made me ask if I liked how I spent my time that day. If I didn’t, and several things popped up that bothered me, I struggle to get back to sleep. Walking around helps a lot of the time. I used to deny myself moving around in fear of waking myself more, but I realized staying made me even more frustrated. That did not pair well with the anxiety, so I’ll walk around barely peeking out of my eyes until I feel ready to go lay down again. It feels like moving a little helps me register my worries to remember when I wake up for good for the day. I get more sleep overall because it doesn’t stay this ambiguous, uncomfortable feeling that gets covered & smothered with frustration from denying the energy release I needed.
Walking doesn’t take long, and I don’t try to control my thoughts. I really try not to do that anymore. I can feel the want to, but I know it disconnects me from the natural flow (however irregular & unpredictable it may be). I have a good friend whom I do jitz with, and we’ve talked about enjoying the bliss of not much thought traffic. I think it takes not trying to control the thoughts to allow them to fizzle out their loops. Without making space to view the loops (to allow them to fizzle), our stimulation threshold will get bumped into over & over like drunk dudes at a bar. Our train of thought (ability to focus) will get “ad interruptions” all day because we’re not paying the premium (creating a consistent viewing space without distractions). It will still happen, but these sessions significantly increase our ability to focus in general.
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Many think it to be impossible for them to experience a relatively quiet mind, but how could you know if you never seriously committed to listening to yourself each day? If you give yourself 15 minutes, twice a day for a month… I’d bet your brain feels much more peaceful. It’s just like working your body out. You can’t do a week’s worth of workouts and expect to look like you’re on the cover of “Men’s Health”. Stick with it & make those long-term gains. I can enjoy some decently long stretches without a ton of interference (depending on the day). If my thoughts were a river, they’d be a lazy one in this state. I feel like I’m charging if I were a phone. These times help a lot with creativity. I like to find public places where it’s not weird to hang out for several hours.
The more regularly you have check-ins, the calmer your thoughts will be because you won’t be paranoid that you’re neglecting or missing something. You slowed down to zoom out so you could see other possible routes that may be more suitable for the way reality actually turned out to be. Having things you want to get done for the day is a great idea, but be flexible with how it gets accomplished. You don’t have to ever write or take note of anything, but walks are great for a time when you feel a little chaotic to slow down & tune in. I think of these uncomfortable feelings as a call from within to check things out (both internally and externally). We tend to struggle with the internal world more in our culture.
I think our attention is the hottest product on the market. This statement is the #1 thing keeping people from healing (IMO) because all the big heads at corporations have their eye on that prize. There would be much less money to be made if we all made several slots in the day to slow down & listen to ourselves for 30 minutes (start with even 10–15 if completely new). Plug into yourself & focus back on the task when you feel you’re getting too involved with a thought. Just be curious with viewing (& taking note if you want), but don’t partake yet. It’s a movie rather than a video game in this practice.
You are your greatest investment, so view it as time spent wisely. If we are on autopilot during the “living portion” & plugged into tech (phone, some form of screen) the remaining time, do you really think it’s possible to properly take care of yourself (or feel fulfilled) in this manner? That’s why it’s helpful to mix little details up throughout the day, so that we decrease the likelihood of an autopilot state. These open, reflective windows are critical to our healing.
Slowing down (“viewing” phase) helps me hear myself more clearly without the influences that have been around me prior that day (media, people, etc.). Otherwise, it can be insanely difficult to separate our thoughts & feelings from what we’ve been immersed in recently. A sifting-out phase feels very beneficial when it comes to creating something that’s authentically you. It’s likely been the most helpful practice I’ve implemented since I began writing again. I didn’t understand this when I was a kid, so that was always a feeling I never looked forward to “dealing with”. Thank you for taking the time to read. Much love! Hope your week goes well.
P.S. I know some of this stuff may be a little repetitive (if you read often), but these are the things in my life that have had the most bang for their buck. If it’s on my mind, I write about it. I try to give a unique perspective on a topic if I have talked about it before.
P.P.S. Authenticity is a word that gets a lot of “play-time” these days. Anytime a word becomes hot like that, it’s often easily misunderstood because people associate exposure with knowledge or experience. People learn a lot about the meaning without being curious enough with themselves to figure out what it means for them. People will read 4 books on authenticity (or 5 hours’ worth of podcasts), but they won’t spend 20 minutes in solitude (undistracted) to view their thoughts. I think I’ll always say being genuine is the simplest answer (to a fulfilling life) unless it involves harming others. Others’ opinions are great & helpful, but they aren’t helpful at all if we don’t know our own.
Til’ next time,
Nolan
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