Almost is Never Enough.
almost is never enough,
all this time, i have been yearning for your touch,
your love burns in my chest, a lil bit too much,
and we keep pretending that friendship is enough.
we keep standing at the edge, afraid to fall apart,
we have almost kissed beneath the quiet of the night,
almost confessed everything we kept buried out of sight,
almost called this something, almost held each other tight,
but almost is a cruel word when everything feels right.
isn't it strange, how we can know each other so well?
yet leave the most important words unspoken where they dwell,
we've built a thousand memories, more than either of us can tell,
but never built a place where we could love without farewell.
sometimes i wish the world would stop and let us have one day,
where i could love you openly and not have to look away.
you call me when the world gets heavy on your chest,
and i stay up past midnight just to make your worries rest,
you say that i'm the person who understands you best,
but darling, how am i supposed to tell you i want the rest?
i want to be the name you whisper when you're feeling low,
the hand you reach for instinctively wherever you may go,
the person you come home to when the seasons change and snow,
not just the almost-love you keep too close to let me know.
and maybe we are cowards, maybe timing isn't kind,
maybe we are terrified of what we might find,
because if we cross this line, there's no returning to rewind,
and losing you as my best friend is a fear i can't unwind.
so we keep dancing circles around the words we never say,
keep finding little reasons just to make each other stay,
keep calling this a friendship as our hearts give us away,
and keep loving one another in the most inconvenient way.
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we've both been standing here, afraid to make a change,
loving in the silence, though our hearts still feel the same.
and what are we supposed to do with all this tenderness?
with all these almost-promises and words we never address?
with every little moment that resembles happiness,
but leaves us lying wide awake, drowning in the tenderness.
so i keep my feelings folded underneath my favorite shirt,
and let you call me yours in ways that never quite convert.
if only you could see the nights i've spent awake,
replaying every almost and every small mistake,
wondering how much longer two hearts can bend and break,
before they finally choose the risk of everything at stake.
every time you leave, there's a little ache in me,
and every time you come back, i forget how to be free.
i'd tell you that your friendship is a treasure i won't trade,
but sometimes i resent the walls that friendship made.
and if we never happen, will you ever wonder why?
will you remember all the times we couldn't say goodbye?
will you think of me at midnight when the stars begin to die,
and wish we'd been a little braver underneath that same sky?
because i will remember you in every little place,
in every song that sounds like longing, in the words you never say,
in every almost-love that time will never quite erase,
in every empty second where i wish i could replace.
and maybe one day we'll laugh about the things we couldn't do,
about the way we hid our feelings when they were painfully true,
about how the whole damn world could see what we already knew,
that i was always falling, and you were falling too.
because almost is never enough, and i think you knew,
not when every little thing somehow reminds me of you,
how i can call you my best friend and still wish for something new,
how i can have so much of you and still feel like i'm missing you.
we were two hearts reaching for each other, then looking away,
two people with a thousand things they desperately wanted to say,
and a love that kept on living, even when we called it a day.
almost is never enough.
not when i have loved you this much,
not when every part of me still reaches for your touch,
not when we both know there's something here,
and neither of us knows how to call it love without losing too much.
