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Why we need to end the twitter gender wars before something tragic happens

3 min readDec 28, 2021

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Men and Women are different, that’s just scientific fact, regardless of what trending culture, political correctness, feelings, and post-modernism say.

Fathers and Mothers parent in different ways.

We run into trouble and frustration when we demonize, dismiss, and insist that the other parent, interact, disciplines, take care of and do things our way and only our way.

Men and Women communicate in different ways.

We run into trouble when we demand our spouse communicate in the same way our friends of the same gender communicate with us or understand our unspoken emotions.

When we refuse to verbally communicate and just expect them to know and compound the problem by emotional blackmail of

“if you loved me”, “you should know”.

Men and Women use language in often frustratingly different ways.

What a woman will say that another woman understands, can sound like Klingon to a man.

Women also tend to be hyperbolic in verbal expression, which when a man hears, sounds like an exaggeration and false accusation. eg “You ALWAYS do this”, “You NEVER help out”.

The issue being addressed gets derailed, she doesn’t feel heard, he hears accusation or condemnation.

However valid her complaint, her hyperbolic word use/statement nullifies it cos he feels attacked.

We need to make effort to acknowledge these frequency differences and tune in to the most efficient way they would understand.

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Not insisting they MUST comprehend our way.

Men and Women process the same information in different ways.

We run into trouble when we get annoyed, condemn, and make wrong assertions because they don’t respond or react in the way we do or expect them to.

When they don’t express the same external emotions that we do when something happens.

Forget what movies, songs, The Ministry of Truth, and social media keep saying.

Forget the often condescending pseudo-intellectual pontificating on Tik Tok.

I heard from Transformational Coach, Dr. Dharius Daniels who heard it from someone else, that in relationships

“Wisdom is the ability to discern difference”

Let’s be ok with our differences and stop demanding our spouse/fiance/person we’re dating be, do, think and feel exactly and only as we do.

Unless they are alumni of the Xavier School for Gifted Children, they don't know what you are thinking or feeling if you refuse to verbally express it.

Let’s actually communicate, ask questions, express a position without guilt-tripping, accusing, or wrongly asserting things about them.

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Olu Yomi Ososanya
Olu Yomi Ososanya

Written by Olu Yomi Ososanya

Writing: the #DearNephew Letters to our young men. Focusing on Dignity, Accountability, Self optimisation & improvement