Dear Diary: Adulthood Debited Me 50k
Hmmm. I know I don’t intend to be dramatic, but I woke up at 6 a.m. today. I intentionally set my alarm for that time because I had an artisan coming to the house for 7 a.m. Like I said yesterday, I had a house emergency. Turns out it was water-related, and apparently water emergencies do not care whether you have money for them or not. They need to be fixed immediately.
The artisan came to the house, looked at everything, did his assessment and then handed me a bill of over 50k. Over 50k for something I did not prepare for, did not see coming and had no business entering my plans for this month. Adulthood should take pity on me. This is my first time. It should extend some grace.
I genuinely did not know where I was going to get the money from. My savings are not exactly giving “emergency fund,” and I had work to go to. But at some point, I just decided to take ownership of it and pay. There was really no other option. So I paid.
And then I got ready for work, carrying the pain of losing over 50k with me. On the bus, I started thinking about how I was going to survive until payday. I wanted to cry, honestly, but I was being an adult. Apparently, that is what adulthood is: quietly losing money you did not plan to lose and still going to work afterwards.
I got to CMS and boarded the last bus going to the office. I don’t know what kind of suffering we have normalised in this Lagos, because that bus was terrible. Even Satan himself would probably have looked at it and said, “No, thank you.” But wetin man go do?
I got to work and went straight into meetings. Meetings are apparently mandatory now, so you just have to show up. Somewhere in between all of that, I also had to write for a new app, even though we have not even finished with the former app. I was already apprehensive because, honestly, how many apps are we building?
Later, I cleaned up and reviewed a document for some of my colleagues, and they led a presentation, which they still got dragged like a generator. You know when you’re already doing your best to get something done, and somehow it still becomes another thing to drag? Yeah, that.
Lunch eventually came, but by then I was already craving Alfredo pasta or Chinese. I checked Chowdeck and realised I had no business looking at those things because everything was under 20k. Tinubu. At that point, my cravings automatically craved out. I settled for regular fried rice and chicken at the office instead, which was honestly a 4/10. I drank water and moved on with my life.
I took a walk afterwards and spoke to an older friend about some things I had been feeling and how difficult the past few months have been. It was one of those conversations where you start talking about one thing and somehow end up unpacking five other things you didn’t even plan to talk about.
And, of course, my thoughts eventually wandered to my love life. I remembered a certain man who used to pick me up. There was a time when his nights were just for me, and I didn’t really care how busy he was or how late he stayed out. I just wanted to see him. Looking back, love is such a foolish experience. You can be so deeply invested in someone and not even realise how much of yourself you are giving away.
I started thinking about what it would be like to talk to him again. Maybe despite the time difference. Maybe despite the distance. Maybe just because I miss him. I truly used to love Sha. I wonder what happened.
Then my phone rang. It was my manager.
Another meeting.
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At this point, I think we had already had several meetings, but somehow there was still another one waiting for me. By the end of the day, I counted six meetings. Six. And each one was no more than an hour, which somehow made it worse because they were short enough to keep happening but frequent enough to destroy the entire day. At this point, I started wondering if I was employed to work or to attend meetings about work.
Depression returned.
I eventually left the office earlier than usual because I needed to be home for the artisan. I walked to the bus stop, got a bus to CMS and, surprisingly, there was no traffic until we got to the bridge. By 4:30 p.m., though, everything had started building up.
I got down and took a keke for the rest of the journey. There were already two people sitting there, and neither of them seemed interested in making room for another human being. Both of them were bigger than me, too, so I was just looking at the situation and wondering what exactly I was supposed to do. The idiot in the middle even said that if he didn’t shift, I wouldn’t shift. So I sat there with one bumbum and let God take control.
Thankfully, the artisan was actually very nice. He came on time, did what he was supposed to do and was generally graceful about the whole thing. I genuinely applaud people who take their work seriously. 100/100. Timing. Work. Standard. I pray God blesses the work of his hands anywhere.
He eventually finished, and I cleaned up the mess afterwards. I also chatted with a really nice person I’m quite fond of, so that was a little bright spot in the middle of the day.
Then came the end-of-day meeting.
This one was particularly interesting because I got dragged for things that were not completely my fault. At some point, I just sat there thinking, Jesus would probably say, " It is finished. Because every time I hear my name in a meeting these days, my heart starts doing unnecessary things. Palpitations immediately. I don’t even know what I have done yet, but my body has already decided I am guilty.
The meeting eventually ended.
I thought about dinner and how I was going to sort myself out, only for that plan to somehow backfire because of my account balance. I honestly can’t believe my name is Abisola. Sometimes I feel like it is not even a clear representation of the life I am living.
Overall rating for today: 2/10.
I got debited. That alone is enough to bring the score down.
Hopefully tomorrow is easier. I really hope so.
I also miss that man. He has not called me in a long while. I’m not angry, though. I think I’m just getting to that point where I need to harden my heart a little. Even Pharaoh is going to be surprised.
Anyways, I guess that’s all for today.
Hmm.
