Come Alive, Dry Bone
I have been lapsing from writing articles on Medium for quite a long time. I find myself compelled to reflect on the whirlwind of the past six months of my life. I have quit my old demanding job, was free for half a month and then jumped right back into my current job that I find suitable for my current state of being — work, family, relationships, and health. Nearly all of the aspects a decent human being needs in a fulfilling life — except for my spirituality where I am trying to navigate through this changing time of my career.
I have been through a lot of ups & downs for my spiritual journey. Sometimes I found myself with doubts, sometimes with anger, and sometimes with epiphany — the magical moment where every moment of questions, doubts, angers, frustrations, and love and gratitude come into places. That one-blink-of-an-eye moment where suddenly all the life lessons flash right before your eyes in one go. Breath. Gasp. You understand it all.
I have also almost renounced my Christian faith all together wondering all of them might be just a fictional bronze-age tales and God might not even exist in this Universe. The fact that everything might have just been made up led me to deconstruct my faith a year ago. The story of Moses parting the Red Sea might have been a misremembered collective memory of the Israelites of when they crossed the small lake called the Sea of Reeds. The Tabernacle might have also been just a small temple on Mount Zion. The 40 years of the Exodus might have been just a folklore for the Israelites’ kids and the number 40 might have been just a made-up fancy, culturally significant figure in the ancient times. This can go on and on.
A Wandering Christian
The winter breeze is here, lingering through your skin. It is cold, despite the warmth you have from holding your coffee cup. Your nose is having a little tickling feeling as if you are about to sneeze. A warm hug from behind from your beloved ones, your family. Noisy grandkids and their quarrel. You look down to your lap. It is that wool red sweater you always wear for winter holidays. It is Christmas. That time of the year which us Christians used to believe as the exact ‘birthday’ of our Lord & Savior. However, with the advance of our strong academic & scholarly circle, the well-established peer review and scientific research tools, 25 December never was, never has been the actual birthday of Jesus.
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This very information caused me to delve into a more deconstructionist way of viewing the Bible & its historicity of the Biblical accounts. Oftentimes people in the faith community try to work their way to justify the historicity of the Bible and at the same time neglect the fact that, similar to all the ancient writings, there are flaws & discrepancies.
With that, I myself find the Bible a very unreliable place to cling to (except for the Four Gospels as a very good story to relate my faith to, again, ‘story’) and began calling myself a non-Bible believing Christian.
In fact, the life of Christ is what keeps me to the faith. The account of His humility & compassion where he reached out to the minority of the society and showed his unconditional love is what strikes my soul the most. Some people from my old church community might call me a ‘Prodigal Son’ or ‘a lukewarm Christian.’
‘Lukewarm Christian’ is a term often used to describe someone who identifies as a Christian but may not be actively or passionately engaged in their faith. The term is derived from a passage in the Bible, specifically from the Book of Revelation, where Jesus says, “So, because you are lukewarm — neither hot nor cold — I am about to spit you out of my mouth.” (Revelation 3:16). But will Jesus really spit one of his followers to the pit of hell if they won’t go to church, or believe in the Bible?
I believe otherwise.
I don’t think we are supposed to have the correct man-made beliefs and tick all the boxes in order to go to Heaven (if there really is a heaven). One thing I hold dear in addition to my weird, unconventional Christian faith is that we are put to this world to learn and navigate through this very God-given life. Then poof, gone, non-existent. This very belief might be scary. No Jesus, no afterlife? No God? No holy communion? But listen, isn’t it wonderful to know that we have been given a chance to make the most out of our life with grace & love before we part this very physical Universe — to somewhere none of us here are certain. There might not be ‘that somewhere’ even but to make sure we have made this very life worth living & given our most sacred meaning to it — isn’t that a very Christ-like life?
Merry Christmas, everyone. May God or anything you believe in bless you :)
