blog.daily — schizostesia
If there is one thing I have trouble coping with, it is with how irregular my motivation is. One moment I feel like I could take on the whole world by myself, and the other I can’t find a good enough reason to get out of my bed at 1pm. Did I miss something or is it how it is supposed to be?
I guess the latter, but hey. You never know
For a very long time, I kinda hated it. These jumps in motivation are kinda extreme for me, and as soon as I noticed them I began to fear them. Every time I entered a positive state of mind, I would rush to my computer or phone and quickly write down every ideas that would hit me. I would start coding that website, designing that artwork or writing that article as soon as I could. I would try, and my motivation would go away just as quickly as it appeared. It probably sounds stupid, but that might very well just be the one thing I really hate about myself. Or is it?
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At least these spikes exist.
At least sometimes, I feel like fighting for something I reasonably shouldn’t.
And I guess that great, because I wouldn’t be interested in living without, to be honest. What would be the point? Maybe you see one that I don’t. I don’t really know, but I can’t help but wishing it wouldn’t be periodic. I keep wondering what I could achieve if I didn’t have to start everything from scratch every time. Maybe nothing; god I sound uppish!
I’m sorry, but it drives me
