Maybe Trying Again Is All I Can Do Right Now
Sometimes, Trying Is Hard Too
Currently, I am frustrated.
You know that feeling when you keep trying over and over again, hoping that this time things will finally work, but somehow you still find yourself stuck?
That's where I am right now.
And honestly, it is exhausting.
People always tell us to be consistent, keep pushing, and never give up. But sometimes, it isn't even about consistency anymore.
You have tried. You have started again. You have changed your approach. You have given it another chance.
And somehow, life still finds a way to make things difficult.
Recently, I decided that I want to start presenting my articles through broadcasting on YouTube using AI-generated videos. I was excited about the idea because I want more people to hear the things I write about, not just read them.
But finding the right tool has become another struggle.
Most of the websites I have tried are simply too expensive for me. Imagine having to pay ₦43,500 every month just to generate videos. Even the cheaper ones I have found are around ₦33,000.
And I'm honestly frustrated.
I know there are people using apps or websites that allow them to create longer videos, sometimes five to ten minutes or even more, without spending that much. But finding the right information has been difficult.
I've even been looking for someone who is doing something similar, maybe someone I could share a subscription with so we can split the cost.
But so far, I haven't found anyone.
And sometimes, it makes me wonder whether I am doing something wrong.
I can't even tell where the difference is between someone who is genuinely trying and someone who isn't trying at all, because sometimes you can be putting in so much effort and still have nothing to show for it.
That's what makes frustration worse.
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You are trying.
You are searching.
You are learning.
You are looking for alternatives.
And yet, you're still stuck.
Right now, I don't have a motivational speech.
I'm simply frustrated, and I'm allowing myself to admit that things are hard.
But even with all of this, I don't want to give up.
Whenever I feel tired, I remind myself of something I always tell myself:
Who am I doing this for?
I am doing it for myself.
For the person I want to become.
For the things I hope to achieve.
So maybe I haven't figured everything out yet.
Maybe I need more time.
Maybe I need to try another way.
But I don't want today's frustration to become the reason I stop trying.
Being frustrated doesn't mean I've given up.
Being stuck doesn't mean I'll stay stuck forever.
Sometimes, trying is hard too.
And maybe for now, I just need to breathe, take a step back, and remind myself that I am still trying and that counts for something.
