Ups and downs
“I had a stable job, a regular income, and a career that was moving forward. But something was missing. I was solving problems using solutions developed by someone else. I wanted the freedom to follow my own curiosity, explore unfamiliar ideas, and work on problems that did not have straightforward answers.
That desire eventually made me leave my job and pursue a PhD in the UK. I am originally from Odisha, but I grew up in Kolkata, where I completed my schooling and undergraduate studies at Jadavpur University. Mathematics and computing had always fascinated me.
During my undergraduate years, I saw several seniors pursue research opportunities in the US and Europe. Their journeys opened my eyes to the possibilities of research beyond my immediate surroundings and encouraged me to think more seriously about my own academic ambitions.
After qualifying GATE, I pursued a Master’s degree in Electrical Engineering, specialising in Automation and Control. However, during my Master’s, I received little direction from my supervisor, which made it difficult to sustain my motivation in research. By the time I finished, I was frustrated and wanted a break from academics. Seeking financial independence, I accepted a position as an automation engineer at the company where I had interned during my Master’s and moved to Gujarat to begin my professional career. I spent the next two years there. The job gave me the financial independence I had wanted, but over time, I realised something was missing. Much of my work involved implementing established solutions, whereas I wanted to understand problems more deeply and develop solutions of my own. I began to realise that financial stability alone was not enough to keep me intellectually fulfilled.
By 2017, my desire to pursue research had grown stronger, and I decided to explore PhD opportunities for the first time. I applied at IIT Delhi and IIT Bombay, and was shortlisted for interviews at both institutions. Although I was not selected, the experience strengthened my determination to pursue research even if it meant leaving behind a stable career. By 2018, I was ready to take that step, whether the opportunity came from India or abroad.
Around that time, a senior from Jadavpur University, who had recently become a lecturer in the UK, advertised a funded PhD position. Our research interests overlapped, and after initial discussions and an interview, I was selected. My PhD was based in Cornwall, a beautiful coastal region about six hours from London by train. It was quite different from the competitive academic environments I had known in India. People seemed to have time for their work, holidays, weekends, and lives outside the university. But the biggest change wasn’t geographical. It was intellectual.
My PhD began in automation and control, focusing on the resilience of modern electricity networks. As renewable energy sources such as solar and wind become more widespread, power grids are also becoming increasingly digital and potentially vulnerable to cyberattacks. My research explored how artificial intelligence, machine learning, and physics-based models could help keep these systems stable and resilient. I hadn’t originally planned to work in data science. My supervisor, however, was teaching machine learning and AI, and within my first three months, I was learning Python, strengthening my knowledge of machine learning and statistics, and helping teach undergraduate students.
Teaching was another learning experience. In India, I had been accustomed to lectures filled with equations and technical details. In the UK, I discovered that communicating complex ideas clearly were just as important as understanding them. Students wanted practical examples, whether explaining algorithms through football predictions or movie recommendations. Initially, keeping their attention was difficult. Over time, I learnt to make my teaching more intuitive and relatable.
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The transition outside academia came with its own surprises. I loved the beauty of Cornwall in the summer, but as the seasons changed, I struggled to get used to the cold winds, seemingly endless rain, and long, gloomy winter days. I joined university societies, met people from different backgrounds, and tried to build a life beyond research. Then COVID arrived. Fortunately, my work was largely computational, so I could continue my research from home. But being confined indoors, unable to meet people or enjoy the social life I had gradually built, was mentally exhausting. I found comfort in conversations with my housemates and family, watching football, reading books, exercising, and meditation.
Another difficult aspect of my PhD was the growing sense of intellectual isolation I experienced during its later stages. My relationship with my supervisor had begun positively, with regular discussions about research ideas, simulations, publications, and future directions. I valued these exchanges, which helped shape my early research. However, during the pandemic, my supervisor faced health challenges, and our interactions gradually became less frequent. I found myself working more independently, making research decisions and navigating setbacks largely on my own. While I understood the circumstances, I missed the intellectual exchange and discussions that had been an important part of my earlier research experience. There were papers that faced repeated rejection. I had to conduct the simulations, analyse results, write manuscripts, and figure out how to improve them on my own. Eventually, I began treating reviewers’ comments as another source of guidance. Even when a paper was rejected, I tried to understand what could be improved and submit again. It was difficult, but seeing the work that I had developed almost entirely independently finally accepted for publication was immensely rewarding.
Outside the laboratory, even finding somewhere to live became a recurring struggle. During my four-year PhD, I lived in four different houses. Rental agreements often lasted only a year, and finding accommodation meant beginning the search months in advance. Some landlords demanded a UK-based guarantor, which was particularly challenging as an international student.
As my PhD approached completion, the uncertainty of what would happen next began weighing on me. I was trying to finish my thesis, publish my research, and secure a job, all while struggling with uncertainty about my future career direction. There were months when I felt completely lost. I experienced considerable stress and periods of depression. The uncertainty about my future was perhaps the lowest point of those years.
In early 2022, I secured a position as a Research and Teaching Fellow at Cranfield University. I submitted my thesis around March. I had secured a job offer a month earlier, but my plans were put on hold when my visa application faced unexpected delays amid the disruptions surrounding the Russia-Ukraine war. What I had hoped would be a straightforward transition turned into nearly six months of uncertainty, as I waited to begin the next chapter of my career. Until September, I was left waiting without a salary, relying entirely on my savings while managing rent and the costs of relocating across the country.
But fortunately when I finally moved to Cranfield, I found a research environment that was ambitious, multicultural, and strongly connected to industry. The work was demanding, but there was also flexibility and consideration for personal circumstances. My research evolved from smart-grid resilience towards secure AI and autonomous systems. Receiving a Royal Academy of Engineering Intelligence Community Fellowship became another important milestone, allowing me to develop this new direction.
Today, I work as an academic at Cranfield, combining teaching, research, and collaborations with industry. One aspect I particularly value is how research ideas can move towards real-world applications. Industry partners identify real-world challenges, while universities bring academic expertise and a systematic approach to understand these problems and develop solutions, with students contributing through research under academic and industrial supervision.
Having studied and worked in both India and the UK, I don’t believe either system is perfect. India offers certain advantages, including access to a talented pool of PhD students and opportunities to develop research ideas with them. In the UK, I have found that recruiting research students often depends on securing project funding, which can make it difficult to pursue new research directions freely. At the same time, I have appreciated the stronger institutional support for working with industry, translating research into real-world applications, and exploring entrepreneurial opportunities.
Over the next few years, I hope to lead larger research projects in the area of trustworthy and secure AI and autonomous systems. I also want to explore building a startup focused on making AI systems more reliable, particularly in edge devices and applications where security and trust are critical. I remain connected with researchers in India and hope to develop collaborations.
To students considering a PhD abroad, I would say: be curious, remain open to unfamiliar ideas, and don’t be afraid to take intellectual risks. Looking back at my own journey, I have come to realise that research is not about accumulating publications or achievements, but about developing the patience to understand difficult problems and the confidence to pursue your own ideas. Take time to discover what genuinely interests you, rather than rushing towards the next milestone. With AI making information and answers more accessible than ever, I believe the ability to think critically, challenge assumptions, and recognise which questions are worth pursuing will become even more important.”
-Deepak Panda, PhD in Automation and Control, University of Exeter, United Kingdom
