Archimedes
Chapter One
Once upon a time…no scrap that. That’s the beginning of a fairy tale and this story is not that, unless you factor in the genie. Genies may be the stuff of fairy tales, but they are not like Glinda, the good witch of the north. She was genuinely nice. They just pretend to be nice. They pretend to be on our side but really, they are hoping we’ll mess up and nine times out of ten we don’t disappoint them.
Genies have been around much longer than human beings. Although I still don’t think that gives them permission to be so obnoxious. They exist to serve their human masters, but they have a huge chip on their shoulders. They think we’re imbeciles. Greedy imbeciles. And to be honest, they’re not wrong. Most of us are. And they hate having to waste their superior knowledge and magical powers on imbeciles — but that’s their lot in life — we all have stuff we don’t like — and I, for one, think genies are big, self-absorbed babies.
This is a story about one particular genie and one particular girl who found a magic lamp buried in the sand on a beach while visiting her grandparents in Florida.
That girl was me, Kate Bennet, and the genie that came out of the lamp was Archimedes.
You might think he was named after Archimedes of Syracuse (287 — c. 212 BC), an Ancient Greek mathematician, physicist, engineer, astronomer, and inventor but you would be wrong. My Archimedes was created generations before that. He was the first Archimedes. Archimedes of Argos. And to hear him tell it, far superior to the other Archimedes who (by the way) became very famous in his own time. My Archimedes complained on a regular basis that if he hadn’t been cooped up in that cramped, stuffy lamp for centuries, he could have been even more famous than that poser, Archimedes of Syracuse.
In ancient Greek Archimedes means ‘master thinker’. Master Talker was more like it. My Archimedes wouldn’t shut up. It was as if he was desperate to download everything on his mind before he was imprisoned again for another 10,000 years.
The odds were stacked against Archimedes ever being found. He’d still be buried at the bottom of the ocean — if Fort Lauderdale, Boca and Delray hadn’t invested in beach re-nourishment a few years ago.
Huge dredgers moved along about a mile offshore pumping sand onto eroded shorelines to widen the beach, protect coastal properties, and create nesting habitats for sea turtles and shorebirds. They dredged up sand that had been out there for thousands of years. Archimedes’ lamp was buried in that sand and then tossed onto the beach along with over 180 million tons of ancient seabed.
No one would have found him buried in the sand at the bottom of the ocean if they hadn’t dredged him up and he never would have had the chance to live a normal life.
It was just around sunrise on the morning of May 3, 2025 when I decided to go out for a walk on the beach before my grandparents woke up. It was my birthday and they had invited me down from my home in Massachusetts to spend a week with them at their condo in Delray. They had a great view from their balcony, and their condo was right on the ocean.
The beach was calling me that morning. I knew they had a full day planned and I just needed some time to myself.
My grandparents meant well but they were so worried that I wouldn’t have fun hanging out with two octogenarians that they over-compensated by programming the hell out of every minute. Since I arrived two days ago, we had already spent two hours at Gumbo Limbo Park near Spanish River, taken a boat ride down the inter-coastal. Back in Delray, we had lunch at Deck 84, went out for dinner at the Two Georges, then took a ride in Grandpa’s red Jaguar convertible along A1-A so they could show me some of what was left of the ‘old Florida’ they once knew. Finally, Grandpa dropped Grandma and me off at Town Center Mall where we spent FOUR HOURS shopping. The stores didn’t close until 10 PM. I hate shopping but Grandma loves it. She had so much fun it was worth the aggravation just to see her so excited. She has good taste too and bought me some nice outfits, like the bathing suit I’m wearing. It’s like a pair of shorts and a nice top but it’s a bathing suit. I like it. It’s black with tiny white flowers and it looks nice on me.
Today, we are driving 4 hours down to Key West and stay a few days. We’re going out on a catamaran to swim with the dolphins. It will be awesome!
As you may have guessed, I am not like the rest of my family. First off, I am an only child, but I have lots of cousins and aunts and uncles that live nearby in Western Mass where I’m from. Secondly, they’ve always called me the weird one. I think they mean it affectionately.
I’m the weird one because I sing. I’ve been singing and winning competitions since I was three. I go to the Pioneer Valley Performing Arts Charter School in South Hadley just over the river from my hometown of Easthampton. I want to sing or do something in music for a living. Music is so important to me. I can’t really explain it. I’m weird because no one else in my family seems to care about any one thing more than any other. I have been singing and playing piano since before I could walk. It makes me different, but I don’t feel different. I just love music, that’s all.
I’m glad my grandparents invited me down this year. Florida is cool. Well, it’s actually hot but you don’t feel the heat when you’re on the beach. I love wandering the beach early in the morning when the tide is low and the ocean breeze feels like velvet against my skin.
That morning the sky was streaked in bright pink and orange. The waves came in so quietly they were like sleepy versions of themselves — not quite awake. They spread out along the sand with a sigh — leaving white bubbles and sandpipers behind. The beach was practically deserted except for the odd runner or dog walker and they kept to themselves. No one noticed a 15-year-old girl brushing at the sand looking for sea glass just above the high tide line.
That’s when I saw a glint of metal catch the first rays of the rising sun. Only the tip of something was showing and I knelt down to dig with both hands. I was so psyched when I finally got it free and lifted it up. It was one of those olden day oil lamps. It was big. At least 14 inches long and heavy. I was mesmerized as I held it up and turned it all around in the sunshine. It was dented and made of tarnished brass. It had strange words inscribed around the base and again on the spout. The top didn’t come off so I couldn’t open it to see inside but there was a small hole in the narrow spout that was clogged with sand. I found a small stick and dug the sand out, but it was still filled with something so there wasn’t any way to see inside. I wondered what it could have been used for, if you couldn’t fill it with oil or put a wick in it. It looked old enough to be in a museum. It might be worth money. I couldn’t wait to bring it back to the condo and show it to my grandparents. Maybe someone lost it and there was a reward.
The sun had lifted itself above the horizon and was a bright yellow orb in a perfect blue sky. I could already feel the heat prickling my skin. Grandma and Grandpa would be awake by now and would have found my note, so I put the lamp into my bag and started back. That’s when I heard the voice.
‘Aren’t you going to let me out? What’s wrong with you? Rub the goddamned lamp! Don’t you know anything?’
At first, I thought I was hearing scraps of conversation from down the beach that had drifted over to me on the breeze. Sound traveled on the beach and there were quite a few people around now. Tourists were getting set up for their day. Kids were running around and more people were coming down the boardwalk struggling with their umbrellas and coolers, their chairs and beach bags. Every single person kicked off their flip flops or sandals and walked barefoot towards the water.
I loved that feeling when your bare feet first felt the soft shifting sand. There was something primal about it. You couldn’t wear shoes on the beach! You had to take them off even if the sand was blazing hot and you got second degree burns hopping like a maniac to the water’s edge.
‘Hey kid, let me out!’
There it was again. A man’s voice. Only this time I knew it was coming from my bag — I stopped short and threw my bag down like I’d been bitten.
‘Who said that?’
‘Rub the lamp and find out. I dare you.’ The voice was not very friendly, and I have a stubborn streak that drives my mother crazy. I never do what people want me to do. The more they demand of me, the more I dig in my heels.
‘I don’t do dares.’
‘Oh, okay. So, you don’t do dares — my mistake — but you could at least be a good kid and let me out of here. Just rub the freaking lamp. You’ll be glad you did. I promise. Just one little rub. Just rub the lamp. Come on, rub it!’
‘Who are you?’
‘I can’t tell you anything until you rub the lamp.’
‘I’m not rubbing the lamp.’
A nice couple with 2.5 kids wandered by and gave me the side-eye. I answered their side-eye with one of my brightest smiles.
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‘Beach bags can be so demanding. Especially the designer knockoffs. Don’t you agree?’ I shrugged and gave my beach bag a little kick where it had landed, my water bottle and towel peeking out. The nice family moved along a little faster.
That’s when I noticed the lamp. It was moving too. Scooching out of my bag little by little. Not very fast, or very far, but it seemed to be inching its way out of my bag like it was alive.
‘What do you think you’re doing?’ I shoved my stuff and the lamp back into the bag and picked it up.
‘I’m trying to get your attention.’ The lamp said in a muffled voice from inside the bag. ‘I’m stuck in here. You’ve got to let me out. Please. Please kid. Let me out. I’ve been trapped in here for 10,000 years. How would you like to be stuck in a lamp for 10,000 years? Please, kid. Let me out. Just rub the lamp and let me out of here.’
‘I saw you move. You were shuffling out of my bag. By yourself.’
‘You’re pretty sharp. Did you really see me move? Or maybe you thought you saw me move and were hallucinating. Maybe you think you’ve gone crazy and none of this is really happening. Maybe you doubt your own senses. Maybe I’m not really talking to you right now. Whatever your problem is, I don’t care. I’ve heard it all before. Just rub the freaking lamp!’
Now, you might think I was crazy to be talking to a lamp, but I knew I was quite sane and I understood the gravity of the situation. I had found a magic lamp on the beach and there was probably a genie inside demanding to get out.
It was simple — just very unusual.
‘What happens if I let you out?’ I asked fully expecting a sarcastic answer. The voice in the lamp hadn’t inspired much confidence so far and I was distrustful by nature.
‘If you rub the lamp and let me out,’ the voice said enunciating every word like I was a toddler. ‘I’ll grant you three wishes.’
‘And then what?’
‘Isn’t that enough?’
‘No, if I’m going to let you out, I want to know what happens after the three wishes.’
The voice paused. ‘Well, that’s a first. No one has ever asked that question before. In over 50,000 years, I’ve been out of this cursed lamp 8 times. That means I’ve known eight stupid humans and not one of them asked me that question.’
There seemed to be a subtle shift in his attitude. As if I had earned a tiny bit of respect.
‘If — and that’s a big if — I let you out,’ I lowered my voice as more people went by. ‘how do I know you’re not evil? How do I know you won’t cause all sorts of trouble. Destroy the universe or use your powers for the dark side? I don’t know you from a hole in the head and you haven’t made a very good first impression. To tell you the truth I wouldn’t trust you as far as I could throw this lamp.’
‘What’s the dark side?’
‘It’s a Star Wars reference.’
‘There are star wars now?’
‘No, Star Wars the movie franchise. Darth Vader? Luke Skywalker?’
‘Well, if you let me out of this lamp, you can tell me all about it.’
‘I’m probably not going to let you out and you still haven’t answered my question.’
‘If — and I know, it’s a big if — you let me out, I’ll grant you three wishes and then I will disappear back into the lamp and the lamp will transfer itself somewhere else in the world. That’s it. It will be a very brief relationship. You won’t have to put up with me for very long.’
‘Transfer itself? Where? On this plant?’
‘Of course, on this planet. What other planet would be so messed up as to imprison genies for thousands of years only to be set free by greedy ape-like creatures who mercilessly enslave them? Humans are the worst of all life forms. You think I might be evil? Human beings invented evil. You’re just one big experiment gone horribly wrong. You don’t fit in anywhere. Not one of the other life forms in the galaxy like you and our only consolation is that you’ll probably destroy yourselves and we’ll finally be free of you for good!’
‘Resentful much?’
I decided I’d better get a move on because my grandparents will be wondering what’s taking me so long and might come looking for me. How was I going to explain the genie?
‘You can show them the lamp, but you can’t tell your grandparents about me,’ the genie said.
I was pretty sure I hadn’t said anything out loud, so the lamp could possibly read my mind.
‘Why not?’
‘Because they can’t see or hear me. Believe me, I have experience in this area. I might not know what a Star Wars franchise is, but I know how people react when you insist there’s a genie and they don’t see anything.’
‘What if I let one of them rub the lamp?’
‘Nothing will happen. You found me so it’s your rub.’
‘I have to get back. What if I leave you on the beach for someone else to find?’
‘No one will ever find me. I will be doomed to eternity in this lamp. You found me. I am attached to you. We have to see this through together before you can be rid of me. Those are the rules.’
‘I’ll think about it.’ I said.
