Blessings in disguise…
Saga of an unwittingly absent awardee, her rattled mentor and a one year old…
Chennai, November 2005, Sunday.
As final-year MD students, it was mandatory for us to attend the National Conference to present our thesis. This year the venue was at Chennai only 3 hours drive from Vellore. I had not spent an entire night away from my son, till then; even during night shifts. I would make multiple trips, if required, back and forth from lab to home, but I never slept at the lab even though it would have been super convenient.
Amidst the tough and sometimes unbearable days of juggling my career as an MD and being a young mother, he quickly became my comfort zone!
Rishabh had always been a resilient kid. He had never once made me feel sad when I left home for work. He would always wave and share a flying kiss. Upon returning home, he would always greet me near our front door with a toothless grin. He had since then always supported me through toughest phases of my life.
Nevertheless, this time, I had to stay in Chennai for 2 nights and 3 days. My presentation was on the 3rd day around 8 am. My HOD, Mentor and my lifeline by now- MVJ Ma’am knew it was going to be tough for me, and had offered me a ride in her car, for which I was so grateful.
After reaching Chennai and collecting our ID badges and brochures, we checked into our rooms, and suddenly it just hit me like a ton of bricks.
I could not do this! I needed to reach home soon. I went to attend the welcome ceremony but sneaked out afterwards, took an intercity express to reach home before Rishabh went to bed. Meanwhile he had barely noticed my absence. 😂🥰
Sunday, 8 am, Chennai National Conference Venue:
The venue witnessed the hustle and anxiety among extremely nervous MD final years from all over India!
However, unlike my former self, when I used to have panic attacks before such presentations, I was in my zone, feeling empowered!
All the time I had only TWO souls in my mind — my mentor, because of whom I could secure a seat at CMC Vellore, and my one-year-old son, who had NEVER disturbed my schedule.
I would not betray Ma’am- was the only thought that had prevailed!
I continued to revise my study materials. There were no signs of judges even after an hour or so. Other participants were getting antsy. There were lots of senior health care professionals from different parts of the country who seemed genuinely interested in our preliminary thesis. I had managed to answer most of the questions related to my project, its feasibility and challenges, etc. I was hyperactive and enthusiastic the whole time.
I was also feeling very emotional because in a few more months, I would complete my finals and it would be time to move on. I was not sure if I would be able to work anywhere else, that was NOT CMC Vellore.
It had humbled me for the rest of my life. I had the privilege of working with legends like MVJ Ma’am, who had zero ego despite being a pioneer in healthcare breakthroughs on an international level.
While I was feeling gloomy, I heard the announcement that we needed to wrap up and move towards the auditorium to attend the award distribution ceremony.
I sighed wistfully and left the venue in the OPPOSITE direction.
I headed straight towards one of the biggest wholesale shopping areas in Chennai-T Nagar- to purchase toys for my son.
I reached home around 5 pm just before Rishabh was getting ready to go to the park. His entire face lit up when he noticed a bag full of toy vehicles. Together we spent the rest of the evening trying to figure out the toys.
The next day, I carefully avoided discussing events of the conference. I felt the energy shift in the room when one of my junior colleagues told me that I was being too modest after winning the National Award for best poster presentation. I remained thunderstruck for what felt like decades.
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My head was now spinning so fast that I needed to lie down on the floor, stat!
I felt mortified that I had to now explain MVJ Ma’am about my whereabouts and at the same time I also felt elated because I had somehow by God’s grace managed to keep my promise to MVJ Ma’am who had vouched for my selection as a PG student despite facing strong opposition from her colleagues since I was not from South India.
It was a heady feeling of mixed emotions. I felt distraught that Ma’am must have felt betrayed by my absence.
I also had a bizarre theory which was 100% true. I headed towards her room to convince her that had I not snuck out, I would have continued feeling melancholic which would have affected my performance badly since my goal would have been to get it over with and rush back to Rishabh.
But since I had been with Rishabh- my personal rechargeable battery- I felt empowered the whole time.
She did hear my version and added that I could not afford to find excuses to justify my unreasonable behavior since she might not be always there to protect me. 🥹🥹🥹🥹
After a while, she inquired about my whereabouts. She was now chuckling at my animated expressions when I was describing what kinds of toys, I had purchased.
Ma’am: “ I just felt sad that you did not get to experience of receiving the award yourself, and we felt embarrassed as a team that you had vanished without informing anyone. This was once in a lifetime opportunity Pratibha.” 🥹🥹🥹🥹
She not only fought for my right to belong to CMC Vellore but also stood by me when I had threatened abortion and later actively interfered to secure my position at Vellore when my performance had dipped during the second year MD because I was struggling with a difficult pregnancy.
When I was preparing for MD Finals, I would often sleep on my study desk at Department. She would quietly bring flask of coffee and snacks and place them by my side. 🥹🥹🥹🥹
Had I not completed my MD from CMC Vellore, I would have never been able to find a job within 1 month of coming back to India, especially since I was not working as a physician since last 9 years. I needed that job when I was a solo parent, to provide for Rishabh.
Decades later, when I got admitted to CMC for severe UC flare ups, she was there for me AGAIN. She and Sir would take us for breakfast when we would be feeling dejected.
She would cheer up my son by sharing her Gulab Jamoons with him.
I owe my life to Ma’am.
Tagging Nitisha Shankar 🌟 for this prompt because the world needs Pillars of strength to remind us that we are never alone !
Manmeet Singh Bhatia for your POV about encouraging new writers by guiding them and not dismiss them…
Inviting my soulmates for a read because without your support, I would not have dared to continue sharing…
SK Sharma (earlier 8th Wonder) Sir, Vinod Bhardwaj Sir, ShubhamAgrawal Silent Pages Nehasahni Apeksha Apte Jabi Dr. Ajaya Sankar Gary L. Fretwell John Edwin 𝗥𝘂𝗱𝗿𝗮 𝗡𝗮𝘁𝗵 Dt. Tinna Smriti Pathak Gopi Prajapati
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This story is part of the writing challenge “My Pillar Of Strength,” hosted by The Rabbit Note publication. A tribute to your loved ones, celebrating the people who hold us.
